If civilization fell and the rule of law was replaced by a Mad Max style post apocalyptic hell and you found out that the Lords of the wasteland/barbarian horde/Border reivers [delete as appropriate] were about to descend on your neighbourhood and you had just a few hours to fortify your place, having decided that you were going to sell yourself dearly, and they could have your house keys/car keys/stash of porn when they prised them from your cold dead fingers. What methods of defence/home made weapons would you employ? Dig some shallow punji pits in the garden and use that bit of tongue and groove you were saving just in case in conjuction with some 6 inch nails to line said pits after smearing the nails in excrement? Break open the drinks cabinet to make some molotov cocktails? Or do you get the chain saw from the garage and go out in an evil dead style gore-fest? I,ll start the bidding with a carving knife tied to the broom handle as suggested in dads army. They don,t like it up em!