Holy ARRSE

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Gunny Highway, Jan 6, 2004.

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  1. There seems to have been an explosion of ready-made 'clerics' here on ARRSE. I was ordained yesterday by the Universal Life Church as Reverend Gunny Highway. Blessed art thou who drink Woodpecker.

    My point is, as a newly passed out God botherer, I would like to offer my services for confession, either via this thread, or by PM. To that end, if you wish to confess, enter your sin(s) below, and a good reason why I should bless you and remove the stain of your sin. If I'm not on-line, the other ordained ARRSE priests will answer in my place. Those, whose sin is too big for one man to absolve, will receive a torrent of abuse.

    Those wishing to confess one of the following, please see a priest via a 'real' church:

    Murder
    Kiddie fiddling
    Homersexual acts
    Blondebint
    Acts of Perversion
    Perverts

    God be with thee und pommes mit mayo.
     
  2. :lol: what about w@nking ?
     
  3. Not a sin in this church, unless caught doing it to a pal, then see the above

    Many sins can be forgiven, get them down here and beg for forgiveness

    If you know of no sins stitch up another for brownie points from the Clergy
     
  4. W@nking is not a sin !

    Why, in present compnay it is almost compulsory.


    TTFN

    BFG
     
  5. Polishing your meaty mitre may not be a sin but being Flippant is.

    BFG, stick a chalice of holy water up your hoop and sing lord of the dance until your eyes bleed as punishment.
     
  6. this ^ is exactly what I mean by present company............
     
  7. Keep in mind I am a Blessed Sister, so be nice clerical representatives of the Big Man Above...

    So it's okay to w*nk, but not others of the same sex?

    And is this an across the board thing?

    I can see queues forming outside The Convent of the Blessed Mothers School for Girls chapel house as I type. 8O

    Please give abstinence...

    Me a culpa
     
  8. Wanking is against my religion if your a bloke, cos I don't want to know about it. Women, please tell us more, I can forgive females for that. R va maria, etc.
     
  9. I'll give you a slap, my child. Heaven hath none place inneth upon thy throne.
     
  10. Latin?
     
  11. I've consulted the boss - or ' Cliff ' as we call him up here.

    W@nking is OK as long as you are not doing it to another bloke

    Apparantly girl on girl action is to be Revered
     
  12. Filmed, poorly dubbed, copied and sold?
     
  13. Oh yes !

    I'm liking you more and more each day :)


    TTFN

    BFG
     
  14. How many fingers do you use, BBC? Hose-hanna in the highest.
     
  15. Do I?

    Holy Father,

    I feel for this confession YOU should give ME the money.. :roll:

    Blessed Angel....