Hollywood Treatment - Al Amarah 2003/04

Discussion in 'Films, Music and All Things Artsy' started by Lt_Hardly_Worthit, Aug 21, 2008.

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  1. I note with interest that in a forthcoming biopic, Rory Stewart is to have his boots filled by Orlando Bloom. For those knocking around Al Amarah late 2003 /early 04 you may well remember Rory, Deputy Governorate Coordinator - he was quite a character, (see attd link to article). I have a feeling he didn't get on with the boss - Molly, State Dept, so ended up in Dhi Qar province, Nasariyah, Deputy to an Italian woman - now she was a pain in the arrse!

    I hope it's not the usual Hollywood Hogwash, although I'm not expecting an in depth analysis of CPA Iraq. However I am fully expecting Ewan McGregor to be taking on the part of yours truely - ok, I know - fat chance!

    http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/film-and-tv/news/bloom-to-portray-diplomat-with-a-difference-901847.html
     
  2. How will hollywood portray a turdis?
     
  3. Agree with your sentiments Tiger S, I was being kind with the phrase "quite a character" - it appears Molly as a slick operator, wasn't prepared to countenance any wasters.
     
  4. The Hollywood treatment.

    All american good guys, prevented in their tasks by bad guy europeans with English or German accents. Arabs also obstructionist, and with English accents.

    A few nice looking female non-americans threaders with their superiors and their efforts to make iraq better.

    A few wounded and maimed children for the tear jerker.

    Some all american heroes who go out and do the job, despite constant blue on blues from their ENGLISH allies.

    American officer wants to do it one way, (the right way) but ENGLISH officer says "steady on old bean, we need to sort this out like we did in the colonies".

    Ex SEAL, now soux chef on board a laundry ship called in to deal with the situation. Takes on saddam mano a mano with light sabres.

    American troops appear to be proific in all areas, even where they weren´t is action, commanders of other nations rubbished, despite being as good as or better than the American counterparts.

    Successes in which the Americans played NO part (referred to as "coalition successes") no have Americans completing vital tasks in order for them to succede, if not the atcual task. Or completign the task at a different time.

    Successes which were largely American (referred to as "American successes") are now exclusive american affairs, with foreigners see only to add problems or obstrutions, that the plucky americans havt to get around first.

    Failures by the foreigns depicted as having no american evnvolvement, (refered to as "Coalltion failures") except for americans giving advise on how it should be done,a nd them mopping up the problem.

    Failures by the Americs depicted as "coalition failures" and shown to be the fault fo the non americans.

    English install pre mon noctie on the Iraqi people, and the wife of a English man will write pen pal letters to a American GI. Subsequent research will show that wilst English girl DID exhist, she was in the womb at the time of supposed pen pal incident.

    Scottish and Irish regiments in english army depicted as having little or no kit, and arrogant English officers. But they are plucky and hard fighting.

    Plucky iraqi street urchin, who has shined shoes outside the American base for all fo the film, asks GI Joe "Can I be American too Mr American?"

    GI JOe replies "You already are", and gives him a little american flag.

    A foreign security firm called "blackice" shoots kid,and most of the street. Because they thought kid was "hostile".

    Osama is in his cave muttering somethign about pesky kids*.

    * Pesky American kids in USMC uniform.

    film finishes with an iwo jima style flag raising in the middle of Baghdad, and the American anthem.

    :twisted:
     
  5. chocolate-frog

    Cheers for that saves me paying to go see it, now you have ruined the ending for the rest of us :wink:
     
  6. Fcuk me I thought that was the official history of the Iraq war!