Holidays 4 Heroes Drag Race

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Aunty Stella, Apr 8, 2010.

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  1. As you may be aware, Hols 4 Heroes has recently acquired a Spanish registered and insured left hand drive Battle Bus for the squaddies and families that are sent to Spain to use. It's big enough for wheelchair access and large families and will be parked up at the airport so that the lads and lasses sent over there don't have to worry about hire cars.

    On top of that it will be equipped with a Sat Nav that will have all of the apartment / villa locations along with places of interest pre programmed into it, so no worries about getting lost on the first day.

    There's just one problem, it is currently in Blackpool.

    So, starting on Saturday, myself and Porridge Gun will be driving it the 1, 711 miles from Blackpool to Murcia.

    This is obviously going to cost, so we pondered as to how we could raise some pennies to cover the outgoings.

    I rather foolishly suggested that we should do it as a "Drag Race", where both PG and myself do the entire journey, start to finish, dressed in drag, with a photo journal of us at each location we stop at posted onto ARRSE.

    So come on, what's it worth to see two 15 stone ex squaddies trying their hardest not to get arrested as prostitutes all the way from here to the Med coast?

    Please say "nothing" as PG has the distinct advantage of cross dressing on a regular basis and having an already complete wardrobe. I, on the other hand, am fcuking mortified that he thought it was a good idea and that he has now guilt tripped me into posting this.

    I await your reasoned responses.
  2. I hate you.

    Looks like that's got the ball rolling then and that I am about to look like a "laayyydeee"
  3. If you get a white 18tonn lorry with curtainsides flasuing you dont worry its only me, i shall be driving part of the route this weekend.
  4. Even though this whole event is based on a lie I'll match Jarrod's £30.

    Stella, if you're 15 fcuking stone so am I (I actually weigh 15 and a half on the Stella Scale). ;)
  5. I'll throw in £20 :D
  6. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Woohoooo Dressing up is a hobby so raising money to do it is a bonus.

    I have heels, fishnets, and lady attire...... although the thought of Stella stumbling across a french petrol station forecourt in 4 1/2 inch heels is making me sick up into my mouth.

    I'm a very pretty lady, where as Stella looks like a tattoo'd whore
  7. I`ll chuck a tenner in,
    Just remember Stella, you cant use contraception, so no giving in to drunken sailors advances.

    Good Luck
  8. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    OK, Paypal:


    HSBC: Holidays4heroes

    Sort: 40-12-09
    Acct: 41416081

    Stick a reference on so we can work out how much was raised.

    PM with any requests or post here, we'll see what we can do

    Lesbo floor shows at truckstops aren't gonna happen, unless serious wonga is forthcoming.

    £70 so far, thats a full tank of petrol and some mints for the breath montser :D
  9. I am now sunshine and still falling.

    I discovered "dieting" and "exercise" whilst you were still discovering "lard" and "more lard" :)

    Cough up, give it 2 days and you shall see :)
  10. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    All to fit into a party frock
  11. For money.

    I have turned into a wh0re.
  12. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    Bollocks, we'll be party princess's
  13. Oh dear god in heaven...thats got to be worth money!!

    I'm Midlands based if you need brew pit stops en route!
  14. Porridge_gun

    Porridge_gun LE Good Egg (charities)

    If you suck us off while we wear fishnets and heels your on
  15. I'd say yes, but you know how it is when your peckish....all that'd be left to drive to Spanish Spain would be one lonely stiletto and a small but elegant belch!!! You don't stick yer knob in a fat birds chops and expect to come out whole!!!