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holiday to the country

#1
a rich city bloke thinks he wont go abroad this summer, he'll just go up to yorkshire for a spot of shooting.
when he gets there, he unpacks his rifle and goes hunting for ducks. seeing a flock of them flying past he aims and shoots one down, and sees it fall down into the next field. when he goes over to get it, he sees the farmer has picked it up and is walking off with it.
'what are you doing? give me my duck back.' says the city man.
'if it lands in my field it means its my duck. so no' replies the farmer.
'there must be some kind of arrangement we can come to? were both reasonable men, my old chum' says the city boy.
the farmer answers 'well yeah, actually, lets settle this the traditional country way. i get to hit you three times, then its your turn, then mine again and so on till one of us surrenders. the winner get the duck. interested?'
the city man agrees, so the farmer punches him in the stomach so hard he doubles over. then he kicks him in the face, mushing up his nose, and the city boy falls to the ground in pain. then the farmer stamps on his face.
'ok' says the rich city man 'now its my turn'
the farmer laughs and says 'no, its ok. you have it'
 

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