HMS MASSIVE and the fine art of bragging.

#1
I always love hearing the occasional "When I was on the MASSIVE" dits and now someone has seen fit to make it a Twitter account. Good stuff and it may raise a smile with the matelots on here.

Take a look at HMS Massive (@HMS_Massive): HMS Massive (@HMS_Massive) | Twitter
 
#2
When I was on the MASSIVE - an oppo starved to death in the scran queue. The Fo'csle was in fearnaughts and the quarterdeck was in foulies.
I went for a piss in the Fwd heads as an AB and I'd got my chiefs up by time i'd got back.
We used HMS Brave as a seaboat.
 
#3
I remember using the 'Massive' to get to the continent for a Lionheart, she took the weight of a sabre car OK but the REME recovery nearly had her underwater.

Have I got the hang of it?
 
#4
I remember using the 'Massive' to get to the continent for a Lionheart, she took the weight of a sabre car OK but the REME recovery nearly had her underwater.

Have I got the hang of it?
Er no.... If you used the MASSIVE to get to the continent it would simply require you to get a bus from the gangway to the Fo'csle and the MASSIVE swing round ninety five degrees. If the MASSIVE was using the Isle of Wight as a bollard, that would get you into Dieppe.
 
#5
Er no.... If you used the MASSIVE to get to the continent it would simply require you to get a bus from the gangway to the Fo'csle and the MASSIVE swing round ninety five degrees. If the MASSIVE was using the Isle of Wight as a bollard, that would get you into Dieppe.
You're confusing me you must have served on the smaller "Massive", according to one poster you could get off "Massive" in the UK and France without moving her.
 
#6
You're confusing me you must have served on the smaller "Massive", according to one poster you could get off "Massive" in the UK and France without moving her.
You are indeed confused. When The MASSIVE was using the IOW as a bollard for the Fwd spring, France was required to move 245 metres to the right.
 
#7
You are indeed confused. When The MASSIVE was using the IOW as a bollard for the Fwd spring, France was required to move 245 metres to the right.
It's been suggested that the "RAF moved Australia 500 miles west" scandal was simply to cover up HMS MASSIVE drifting while moored up in Perth and towing the continent away.
 
#8
I believe the navi was beheaded after summarily trial at captain's table after that incident.
 
#9
You are indeed confused. When The MASSIVE was using the IOW as a bollard for the Fwd spring, France was required to move 245 metres to the right.
look how far it moved Germany to the right in the 1930's
 
#10
look how far it moved Germany to the right in the 1930's
Hitler was a renowned Communist and Pacifist before visiting the vessel on a goodwill visit to Wilelmshaven..... It's also rumoured he developed altitude sickness, arthritis and bad knees from the walk up the gangway
 
#11
Hitler was a renowned Communist and Pacifist before visiting the vessel on a goodwill visit to Wilelmshaven..... It's also rumoured he developed altitude sickness, arthritis and bad knees from the walk up the gangway
Its a little known fact that the 1939-45 unpleasantness was caused by a defective Port bow thruster on the MASSIVE.
Whilst attempting to "swing off" the Republic of Ireland using the stern rope and aft spring, a collision caused Germany to move significantly to the right. So far to the right that they eventually ended up "left".
 
#12
Its a little known fact that the 1939-45 unpleasantness was caused by a defective Port bow thruster on the MASSIVE.
Whilst attempting to "swing off" the Republic of Ireland using the stern rope and aft spring, a collision caused Germany to move significantly to the right.
Sounds extremely plausible. Fortunately for the rating responsible for defective maintenance.... he died of old age on the trek up to the Bridge to see the XO for a reaming.
 
#13
Bugsy was Captain of HMS Massive.










Close the thread.
 
#14
Bugsy was Captain of HMS Massive.










Close the thread.
Yes but he only became so having defeated the previous Captain, (later Admiral of the Brown) Tropper in a duel with handbags upon the 100 Hectare Quarterdeck.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
HMS MASSIVE was so massive that it actually had to carry very little fuel. It was so massive that the universe would bend towards it, bringing continents towards it.
 
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#17
My mess was 3978HA2

Bridge team had to have oxy masks I hear.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#20
MASSIVE was so big that a thread had to be opened on Arrse as Rum Ration couldn't cope ;)
 

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