Hitler & Shit.

If Adolf's stools were anything like mine after a heavy night on the Schlösser Alt then good luck with that plan.... 'Capture'? ....a tsunami of Black Death mess pebble-dashed against the porcelain was often the result. That was the major design fault with the German bogs and that 'inspection shelf'... too close to your bum when you were vacating the bowels at jet-washing pressure.... more on the underside of the seat than there was on the shelf with the back spray...
So that's what it was. I thought it was a cunning German design to stop splashback.
Thread drift: We talk of Stools because in the old days one sat on a stall whilst defecating.

More thread drift: I once heard a story of a man who liked to go into womens' toilets after they had been used and wipe the bowl with a slice of bread, which he then ate. The Police caught him.

Even more thread drift: Can anyone help @arte_cut down on the Absinthe?
Was his Surname Gregg ?


According to Cornelius Ryan in his book "The Last Battle", the Soviet post mortem on Hitler's body recorded that his left testicle was missing.

Aside from the well known ditty Bud Flanagan, of 'Flanagan and Allen' and 'The Crazy Gang fame' wrote a similar offering which was rejected at the time as being too risque for the BBC.

However Jimmy Perry and David Croft rewrote some of the lyrics for the nascent TV comedy 'Dad's Army' and the title changed from 'Who do you think you are skidding Mr Hitler?' to one that is a national treasure.

Not a lot of people know that.
Hitler wrote a book about the theft of his still warm Scheisse...

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If we can be serious for a moment...

The story is indeed shit. There is no reliable indication of a person's health through examining his stool unless you know precisely what went in first, including anything injected, and a detailed medical history. And if you know that, his fudge isn't going to yield any more revelations.

Despite what that TV quack 'Dr' Gillian McKeith did with poop in a tupperware box on the telly whilst the nation was eating it's tea, there really is no reliable science now, and there certainly wasn't in the1940s.


Kit Reviewer
First came the Great War, which was followed by World War Poo.


Kit Reviewer


A thread about shit was been put into the ARRSE Hole. Normally it is the other way around. I understand that Hitler had a major flatulence problem.

What will @Arte_et_Marte choose for his next thread? Does wearing pants on your head make you invisible? Does drinking urine prevent disease? Have you ever removed a lobster from an actress' bum?
Being slightly serious for a moment, the OSS report into Hitler by Walter C Langer has all sorts of references to Hitler's fascination for poo and hints that he was a bit of a coprophile.

Guderian wrote the seminal work - Achtung, Pants-er: the Art of Schitzkrieg.

Bloody obsessed, I tell you...

'Sichelschnitt ? More like sack of sh1t' - ACSC revue skit on how one of the Div Directors would've assessed Guderian's plan...

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