Mum "I'll just get some cabbage for tea........OLIVER!!"
Mum reckons she's getting her patch back next year. Little does she know, but the curriculum includes studying the Cold War. Cue a nuclear bomb proof shelter.
There's a ******* sad German nutter living near me who spends all his holidays rummaging through the mustard gas scented woodlands and fields of Belgium and France generally licking the WW1 skips. He got caught a few years ago with an unfired British "Whizz bang" in his car, lost in the mud, or even hastily buried when some long dead occifer said "you there....that man....yes you with the silly puttees, Pack Up and **** Orrrrfffff back to Blighty!
I'm sure he'll have a few spare we could lob at this lad!
When the police searched his gaff they also found a large German booby trap bomb which they tended to install in their deep dugouts and bunkers and a selection of live French discus grenades. His tenants were well impressed.