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Historic sexual abuse.

Fifefox81

Swinger
I was not offering advice.
Offering you advice (I suspect) is close to trying to score 180 with a feather to a dartboard revolving at 5,000 rpm.
I was expressing a blatant view.
At least you are seeing a shrink so fair play on that.
You didn't explain your motivation for wanting to discuss these events that happened to you some 30 odd years ago with a bunch of strangers. There must be plenty of discussion boards on the internet specifically for people who have endured sexual abuse at one time in their lives with whom you can engage so why come to an army-centric message board on the off-chance of finding someone who may have had a similar experience whilst serving?

We have a lot of experience with journalists (lazy ones in particular) and others with an agenda coming to us with posts not too dissimilar in manner to yours so you must forgive us if we come across as a cynical and untrusting bunch because basically that's what we are. Life and experience has taught us to be that way so many people will naturally assume that you are a journalist or someone on a fishing exped.
Yes my dad has explained how untrusting you all can be lol and i totally understand why and don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. My dad is the same very cynical about things. You don't know me from Adam and yes I could be anyone. But I'm not lying. My dad said there could be other army brats on here gone through the same thing. That's why I asked. Just wanted to speak to others if they were willing to speak to me. I know how hard it is to open up so I wasn't expecting much. That feeling of not being alone in this is what I'm trying to get. I know I'm looking in the wrong place now lol. X
 
Looks like Sooty was gagging for it from that pic!

It's more that Sooty's pained expression is from having a hand rammed up his bottom
 
Well FX ignore the idiots as a pad brat you must have some great stories about your dad so lets hear some of those on another thread, the more embarrassing the better :)
 

StBob072

LE
Book Reviewer
I think that's a look of surprise on Sootys face

Well he's giving it jazz hands, so I assume he approves.

I wonder if you pushed a spark plug up his jacksy he'd go "Eeeh that's champion"
 
Yes my dad has explained how untrusting you all can be lol and i totally understand why and don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. My dad is the same very cynical about things. You don't know me from Adam and yes I could be anyone. But I'm not lying. My dad said there could be other army brats on here gone through the same thing. That's why I asked. Just wanted to speak to others if they were willing to speak to me. I know how hard it is to open up so I wasn't expecting much. That feeling of not being alone in this is what I'm trying to get. I know I'm looking in the wrong place now lol. X
Actually you are not alone. Quite a few of us here have been sexually assaulted. Granted, it occured in the Assiniboine Inn, perpetrated by mahoosive Canadian birds.
 
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Troy

LE
Hello OP.

Just a couple of things, Is your dad a member here as he seems to be able to tell you what ARRSERS are like?

How about your former abuser, is he known to us here at all? Does he have pictures?
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Yes my dad has explained how untrusting you all can be lol and i totally understand why and don't blame you at all for feeling the way you do. My dad is the same very cynical about things. You don't know me from Adam and yes I could be anyone. But I'm not lying. My dad said there could be other army brats on here gone through the same thing. That's why I asked. Just wanted to speak to others if they were willing to speak to me. I know how hard it is to open up so I wasn't expecting much. That feeling of not being alone in this is what I'm trying to get. I know I'm looking in the wrong place now lol. X

not necessarily the wrong place - for a deep sharing experience probably but being as we are we are full of good advice and bone advice. the press often hate us because they cannot control or influence us. being pessimists we are rarely disappointed in the world.

If you understand your dad then you might get how we discuss things and maybe appreciate how he will have adapted his own outlook on life, find the bits of the site you like and join in especially if it is totally different from what you are used to.

it is a form of distraction therapy - many of us are broken in many different ways, medically, physically and mentally. we come on here to find like minded cantankerous sods who share our flaws and foibles.

this will never be facebook which is why I'd suggest changing your avatar if it is anything approaching a personal picture - you create who you want to be

like a lot of us you too will have a form of PTSD - that is a given - accept it for what it is, do not get upset about it just change gear and drive on, the key thing here is post trauma means you survived it so you have to learn to understand what it is, what it is doing and live with it rather than let it destroy you from within. your main therapy is your kids but like us things get harder as you get older and the little triggers are often the worst.

which is why many of us are on here losing our selves by being politically incorrect grumpy old wibblers who rant at everything.

not myself of course but some of them are terrible and someone really should have words with their carers..
 
I was not offering advice.
Offering you advice (I suspect) is close to trying to score 180 with a feather to a dartboard revolving at 5,000 rpm.
I was expressing a blatant view.
At least you are seeing a shrink so fair play on that.
Bugsy probably did that when when he was the BDO Gold Cup Winner. scored 240 with three darts feathers - blindfolded.
 
not necessarily the wrong place - for a deep sharing experience probably but being as we are we are full of good advice and bone advice. the press often hate us because they cannot control or influence us. being pessimists we are rarely disappointed in the world.

If you understand your dad then you might get how we discuss things and maybe appreciate how he will have adapted his own outlook on life, find the bits of the site you like and join in especially if it is totally different from what you are used to.

it is a form of distraction therapy - many of us are broken in many different ways, medically, physically and mentally. we come on here to find like minded cantankerous sods who share our flaws and foibles.

this will never be facebook which is why I'd suggest changing your avatar if it is anything approaching a personal picture - you create who you want to be

like a lot of us you too will have a form of PTSD - that is a given - accept it for what it is, do not get upset about it just change gear and drive on, the key thing here is post trauma means you survived it so you have to learn to understand what it is, what it is doing and live with it rather than let it destroy you from within. your main therapy is your kids but like us things get harder as you get older and the little triggers are often the worst.

which is why many of us are on here losing our selves by being politically incorrect grumpy old wibblers who rant at everything.

not myself of course but some of them are terrible and someone really should have words with their carers..

Jesus! When did you become so erudite? Come on, own up, where did you cut and paste that from?
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Jesus! When did you become so erudite? Come on, own up, where did you cut and paste that from?

for my sins I have had to deal with a fair few screwed up soldiers from recruits to WO2s - they always wanted to talk to the guy who wasn't going to be there very long. and kids of all ages and persuasions.

there's reason they also call me crazydave - in civvy life usually it's when I stand up the local Gorilla masquerading as a workplace bully or paste the guy who beat up his soon to be ex gilrfriend. it's my own distraction therapy.

I have never lost my marbles though - they live in my bag of change, and If anything as a measure I am even saner than I was two years ago as I now have four marbles in there not just the two I've had for 30 years from the wibble centre at catterick.

anyway if you go back a few years I've had some long PTSD posts and exchanges with JJH and many others.

buggered if I'm going to hunt them out though.
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
Hello OP.

Just a couple of things, Is your dad a member here as he seems to be able to tell you what ARRSERS are like?

How about your former abuser, is he known to us here at all? Does he have pictures?
Yes my dad is on here, he is @KiltedCowboy. My former abuser was in black watch so you could know him. I can't name any names atm. Hope u understand. I'm not sure if he is on here. I haven't seen him in over 20 years now but he has recently moved near to where I live. Shock to the system that was. Should of stayed where he was. Hopefully be over soon. Big celebrations if things go our way. X
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
not necessarily the wrong place - for a deep sharing experience probably but being as we are we are full of good advice and bone advice. the press often hate us because they cannot control or influence us. being pessimists we are rarely disappointed in the world.

If you understand your dad then you might get how we discuss things and maybe appreciate how he will have adapted his own outlook on life, find the bits of the site you like and join in especially if it is totally different from what you are used to.

it is a form of distraction therapy - many of us are broken in many different ways, medically, physically and mentally. we come on here to find like minded cantankerous sods who share our flaws and foibles.

this will never be facebook which is why I'd suggest changing your avatar if it is anything approaching a personal picture - you create who you want to be

like a lot of us you too will have a form of PTSD - that is a given - accept it for what it is, do not get upset about it just change gear and drive on, the key thing here is post trauma means you survived it so you have to learn to understand what it is, what it is doing and live with it rather than let it destroy you from within. your main therapy is your kids but like us things get harder as you get older and the little triggers are often the worst.

which is why many of us are on here losing our selves by being politically incorrect grumpy old wibblers who rant at everything.

not myself of course but some of them are terrible and someone really should have words with their carers..
Ty for that. Yes since my counselling started my outlook on life has changed alot and still changing. I've made alot of improvements in my life as well. Which I'm glad of. I don't resist it in my head anymore which was my main problem I think. Yes I have PTSD and dissociative idendity disorder. Among other things wrong due to the trauma, yes I know if it wasn't for my kids I prob wouldn't be here. But I am for them. They defo keep me going lol. Although it didn't start off to well because of my post, I think I might actually have a wander around site and see what's what. I actually find alot of the banter in here quite funny lol. There not a bad bunch and do understand why they reacted the way they did to my post. I'm really proud of my dad and the way his outlook on life is. This affected him really badly but again with counselling he's changing too. He's always made me laugh lol with his funny jokes and stories. He's sort of my counsellor too lol. X
 
Ty for that. Yes since my counselling started my outlook on life has changed alot and still changing. I've made alot of improvements in my life as well. Which I'm glad of. I don't resist it in my head anymore which was my main problem I think. Yes I have PTSD and dissociative idendity disorder. Among other things wrong due to the trauma, yes I know if it wasn't for my kids I prob wouldn't be here. But I am for them. They defo keep me going lol. Although it didn't start off to well because of my post, I think I might actually have a wander around site and see what's what. I actually find alot of the banter in here quite funny lol. There not a bad bunch and do understand why they reacted the way they did to my post. I'm really proud of my dad and the way his outlook on life is. This affected him really badly but again with counselling he's changing too. He's always made me laugh lol with his funny jokes and stories. He's sort of my counsellor too lol. X

Bon chance.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
Ty for that. Yes since my counselling started my outlook on life has changed alot and still changing. I've made alot of improvements in my life as well. Which I'm glad of. I don't resist it in my head anymore which was my main problem I think. Yes I have PTSD and dissociative idendity disorder. Among other things wrong due to the trauma, yes I know if it wasn't for my kids I prob wouldn't be here. But I am for them. They defo keep me going lol. Although it didn't start off to well because of my post, I think I might actually have a wander around site and see what's what. I actually find alot of the banter in here quite funny lol. There not a bad bunch and do understand why they reacted the way they did to my post. I'm really proud of my dad and the way his outlook on life is. This affected him really badly but again with counselling he's changing too. He's always made me laugh lol with his funny jokes and stories. He's sort of my counsellor too lol. X


I guess its easier for a girl but sometimes its okay to have mini breakdown and blow it out of your system every once and a while so it doesn't mess up your own relationships.

start and end the day with a hug, and a clean slate, take one day at a time, if you can stay off the drugs do so, alcohol too when you are down.

be positive - it is in the past and the past can be forgotten. or at least put to one side for a while.

good luck and remember - carpe jugulum.
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
Thankyou, relationships in past been bad and toxic. Having time out for myself now though. Defo needed lol. Relationship with kids and family is getting better as I'm opening up more now. Mental health got to bad and it really affected my last relationship. Defo staying away from all self destructive behaviour lol. Drugs, drink they just make things 100 times worse. Looking forward to what future has in store for me. All good from now on I hope lol. Yes it's there, it's a part of me and makes me who i am today but I don't let it rule me, not anymore. I've learned how to manage it somewhat lol. Thnx again. Your advice has been good. X
 
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