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Historic sexual abuse.

Fifefox81

Swinger
Hey all, I'm new to the site and been quite weary about putting this thread up lol. I'm an army brat as my dad served from 76/77 - 90/91. I was with him from werl to Northern Ireland, ballykinnler. Made alot of really good friends and yes as my dad has always said the army is like one big family. Love meeting up with them all every year at the reunions. The reason I'm writing this post is, I went through a really horrible and traumatic time in Northern ireland and afterwards due to sexual child abuse at the hands of someone close to me, who was also an army soldier. Seen as the nice guy on the outside. He was a monster on the inside though. Not only me but other members of my family as well. We are in the process of recovery as a family, going to counselling etc and trying to rebuild our lives and try and get some closure on this. It's a really hard thing to try and live with. My life has been one big mess till now. People that have been through the same, reading this will understand what I mean. I'm looking for anyone that had any similar experiences while growing up in the army, or serving in the army that doesn't mind speaking to me as I know how hard it is to open up about something so traumatic. Feel free to inbox me if you don't want to write on post. I have spoke to others and heard some horrific things about they days, not any I can repeat as it's not my story to tell, but I hope these people get closure one day as well and anyone else that has had to go through this themselves or as part of a family or friend of someone affected by this. Thnx for reading.
 
Popcorn ready and I am reserving the first ‘did this go as you expected’ and ‘journo’ call.

Except for the appalling grammar and random punctuation I am going for sock.
 

napier

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Hey all, I'm new to the site and been quite weary about putting this thread up lol. I'm an army brat as my dad served from 76/77 - 90/91. I was with him from werl to Northern Ireland, ballykinnler. Made alot of really good friends and yes as my dad has always said the army is like one big family. Love meeting up with them all every year at the reunions. The reason I'm writing this post is, I went through a really horrible and traumatic time in Northern ireland and afterwards due to sexual child abuse at the hands of someone close to me, who was also an army soldier. Seen as the nice guy on the outside. He was a monster on the inside though. Not only me but other members of my family as well. We are in the process of recovery as a family, going to counselling etc and trying to rebuild our lives and try and get some closure on this. It's a really hard thing to try and live with. My life has been one big mess till now. People that have been through the same, reading this will understand what I mean. I'm looking for anyone that had any similar experiences while growing up in the army, or serving in the army that doesn't mind speaking to me as I know how hard it is to open up about something so traumatic. Feel free to inbox me if you don't want to write on post. I have spoke to others and heard some horrific things about they days, not any I can repeat as it's not my story to tell, but I hope these people get closure one day as well and anyone else that has had to go through this themselves or as part of a family or friend of someone affected by this. Thnx for reading.
If this is genuine I suggest you contact the Police. Anything shared in a public forum may jeopardise subsequent legal process.
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
No I'm not a sock or a journo lol. I am the daughter of an ex army soldier. A few of my family served as well. My post is genuine and sincere. Don't believe me if u don't want to. Yes my spelling is shit haha and my grammer. But really that's not the point of the post. If I wanted an English lesson haha I would go back to school lol. X
 
No I'm not a sock or a journo lol. I am the daughter of an ex army soldier. A few of my family served as well. My post is genuine and sincere. Don't believe me if u don't want to. Yes my spelling is shit haha and my grammer. But really that's not the point of the post. If I wanted an English lesson haha I would go back to school lol. X
If you didn't learn anything the first time round, then it is unlikely that another go will help.
 
Thing is, and I'm not a victim, I think closure for something like that for most of us on here would involve a balaclava and a baseball bat.

Beyond that, as soon as you link it with 'The Army' no-one here will trust you. Nothing personal just experience of previous attempts to gather material (materiel?) by others.
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
Thing is, and I'm not a victim, I think closure for something like that for most of us on here would involve a balaclava and a baseball bat.

Beyond that, as soon as you link it with 'The Army' no-one here will trust you. Nothing personal just experience of previous attempts to gather material (materiel?) by others.
Thanx for that, and yes if it was able to be solved that way I suppose it would of been along time ago. Closure then and there lol. Esp where my dad and uncle are concerned. But the monster isn't worth them getting banged up for life and me and my kids missing out on them. Let the law deal with it. It's the best way.

I came on the site, not expecting miracles lol but looks like im gonna be banging my head against a brick wall. Esp on here lol. It was my dad that recommended it to me, thinking I might get somewhere. Did tell me I'd prob get some slagging lol esp from army guys lol. So was expecting it tbh. Oh well I tried lol. X
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
And It's not because I'm stupid lol, I missed a hell of alot of school, due to this affecting my life. But don't expect people on here to understand that.

actually you'd be surprised as to what experiences people on here have and what they have understanding of.

I have had dealings with several people who were abused as children. I know just how much of an impact it can have.
I've lost count of the number of times one particular friend had attempted to take her own life because of it,

The substance misuse, the behaviour issues, the highly risky sexual practices, and missing some elements of education because of all.

She was once sectioned as punishment
 

Daxx

MIA
Book Reviewer
Of all the agencies, charities and organisations available to provide support*, I find it curious the OP decided to share here.




*ArRSe is not a support agency.
 

hotel_california

LE
Book Reviewer
Popcorn ready and I am reserving the first ‘did this go as you expected’ and ‘journo’ call.

Except for the appalling grammar and random punctuation I am going for sock.
Or he's from The Gruniad.
 
Thanx for that, and yes if it was able to be solved that way I suppose it would of been along time ago. Closure then and there lol. Esp where my dad and uncle are concerned. But the monster isn't worth them getting banged up for life and me and my kids missing out on them. Let the law deal with it. It's the best way.

I came on the site, not expecting miracles lol but looks like im gonna be banging my head against a brick wall. Esp on here lol. It was my dad that recommended it to me, thinking I might get somewhere. Did tell me I'd prob get some slagging lol esp from army guys lol. So was expecting it tbh. Oh well I tried lol. X
There are some people here who think it's particularly soldier-like to act like a twat to all and sundry.

I'd suggest examining other parts of the site for an area that might more suit your question or alternatively seek a support group that doesn't consist of a pair of weebles who did 6 months in the TA in the 80s.

Best of luck.
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
Yes I grew up with alot of self destructive behaviour. Bad relationships. Drugs and alcohol. It's not a good life to live. 2 mental breakdowns where I knew at 37 years old I needed help badly. So the counselling started and I'm not perfect, never will be but I'm managing which is the main thing. Kind of obsessing over this since finding out more from other people about him and his group of people back then. Its so horrible because there isn't alot of help and we kind of have to look for it ourselves and sometimes we don't know how to. I'm getting past that stage. Some not so lucky. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. She must of felt so alone. X
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
Of all the agencies, charities and organisations available to provide support*, I find it curious the OP decided to share here.




*ArRSe is not a support agency.
I'm not looking for support, sorry if it seemed that way. All support is welcome though no matter who it is from. I have a counsellor and she's brilliant although through present times I haven't spoken to her, I also have my doctor and my happy pills lol. I came on here to maybe find others that have had similier experiences as children growing up in the army. X
 

Fifefox81

Swinger
There are some people here who think it's particularly soldier-like to act like a twat to all and sundry.

I'd suggest examining other parts of the site for an area that might more suit your question or alternatively seek a support group that doesn't consist of a pair of weebles who did 6 months in the TA in the 80s.

Best of luck.
Do u have any tips to ur suggestion? I've had a look through but couldn't see a section. Naffi bar or old and bold maybe? X
 
Do u have any tips to ur suggestion? I've had a look through but couldn't see a section. Naffi bar or old and bold maybe? X
Avoid the NAAFI. I can't stress that enough.
 
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