Hints and tips

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Been posting in the ITC chat and quieries thread about various little tips to help out our potiential soldiers hoping to join our beloved family we call the Infantry. :)

1) If there's polish on your carpet scrub with shaving foam

2) Never, never lay on your bed in the day, you'll just get caught and then look like a pregnant woman who's just come out of child labour when Corporal is done with you

3) Don't use instant polish on your boots, it makes the leather crack, and you'll soon get picked up on inspections

4) If you use twisters, chop out your draw strings, because it looks s*** if you're marching around camp and you got pieces of string flapping about, also don't try and blag you've got twisters on when you've tucked draw strings into your trousers

5) Polish the bottom of your boots, then put them on newspaper THEN put them in your locker otherwise you'll have nice polish marks in your locker for corporal to see

6) Don't ever try and blag your ironing by only doing the side that faces outward if your locker looks perfect he'll simply inspect further to pick you up then he'll see you're trying to fool him.

7) Don't ever use white light at night if you're really that blind and can't use the track plan to find your basha buy selalume off RVops ->http://www.rvops.co.uk/field-kit-81/essentials-20/semmalume-pack-of-1943.html Attach these to your kit and whatnot

8) Don't ever put your FFD in your helmet "Because it's comfy" it will overheat you then you'll like an idiot passing out on a tab

9) Don't ever put polish on boots covered in dirt clean them first otherwise your boots will crack

10) Take good care of your feet everyday before bed or after a tab toucan powder them pop any blisters with a sterilised needle (Sterilise with boiling water NOT FIRE) and tape them up

11) Don't chop the lining out of your beret, people may do it to look more stylish but don't even bother with it until you reach your unit because you'll get fined and ragged about silly if anyone with an opinion see's it

12) If you struggle on some aspect of fitness do it in your own time, don't get put on remedial and risk getting backsquadded

13) Don't take Proplus on exercise with you you'll just have a major come down when you come back or half-way through the ex when you run out of it

14) Don't spunk all your paycheck on beer before you know it you're going to be told you have to get something or sponsor for something you just never know.

15) Before you go on exercise or a tab the day before make sure you tape up and test your kit, i.e. your webbing doesn't sound like santas reindeer when you're running with it on

16) When you hear the words "Take a knee" Try and find somewhere that looks comfy.. or wish you had knee pads

17) Ask your section commander prior but if so cut the lining out of your smock hood (make sure to burn the loose thread away!) it looks neater and isn't a pain in the arse then

18) Chop the elastic tightening straps in the bottom of your smock out and use to secure your sandbag on your webbing

19) Do your fair share of block jobs in the morning otherwise you may find yourself becoming severely disliked with people in your room

20) Do yourselves a favour and don't tell an NCO or Officer for that matter if you were Ex-ACF you'll get ragged about to f*ck

21) Put green tape on the bottom of your magazines (If your sec commander allows so ask him) and place them in your webbing upside down you don't look like a spastic that way when you try for your mag changes

22) Remember if you're fit on runs stay near the back if not go to the front (It's harder at the back of the pack now!)

23) Safety catch, Pouch, MAGAZINE OFF (You'll understand soon enough)

24) I know it's a bit petty but get someone who is half decent at sewing to do your flashes for you, weather that be your mother or your mucker who has those wife like skills otherwise you'll look scruffy as f*ck

25) Not sure why people do this, but don't melt bloody boot polish on your boots, because it "Saves time" no it just sets off the f*cking fire alarm and leads to angry NCO's

26) If you smoke, always ALWAYS bring more than enough fags on exercise with you, and don't tell Corporal if he smokes as well Wink

27) Brew Bitch doesn't exactly sound glamourous but it is a good way to find out a bit of sneaky info from time to time weather you realise it or not

28) Don't call out the timings after week 6.....

29) Do not wear warm kit on track just outside your harbour on inspections you'll just be getting sweaty now

30) If someone pisses you off put their capbadge on their beret upside down then try not to laugh on parade Smile

31) You can't bull the new FAD shoes the same way you could Ammo boots so don't even bother if some Crow guardsmen offers to bull your shoes for you

32) When one is told to enter ones Dossbag do not hesitate because "you only have an hour to sleep" trust me you'll be blessing that hour later in the ex

33) Don't take all your bloody kit off when in your Dossbag, no warm kit un-zip smock, un-clip webbing, un-do chin strap on helmet because I tell you now, either A: you'll suddenly forget where all your stuff is at 2am stag or B: STAND TO, STAND TO

34) On exercise get your mucker to wipe down your back with wet wipes regularly otherwise you'll come down with prickly heat which no one likes...

35) If you're told you can buy a softie and use it BUY A BLOODY SOFTIE

36) Don't put cam cream on your forehead...

37) Can never have enough bungees'

38) Always, always check your tie when you start rehearsing in your No.2's

39) Buy a metal mug instead of a plastic one then cook out of that, it saves space sure it's not a fancy jet boiler but it saves you an extra pouch for something useful

40) Don't give away your bloody rations you'll regret it later

41) Take jelly babies on tabs with you

I've mainly based all these around ITC but I'm sure the training doesn't differ too much in phase 1 all around.
Mate, I am certain you'll get a load of abuse for this post, but I think it's excellent. Wish I'd known quite a lot of this when I joined up. And yes - guilty of a few of these as well.

Top work fella.
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