Hill walking stupidity

Is this the thread where all ARRSErs can pretend to be a cross between Mallory and Chris Bonington because they once walked up Hellvellyn on some AT with the Army, and therefore are now Mountain Leader SMEs?
Yes.
 
I am relatively sure that your wife, like mine, will moan at the 'need' for a daysack filled with items.......until one of the useless items becomes necessary.
Yep. Yet try telling them that they don't need that huge handbag and contents for a light stroll along the river.
 
I've just got back in from a 10 mile hike from my place over the fells to my mother's. I carried no more than map & compass, an extra layer, some water & snack stuff.
The important part to me is what I had on my feet, which is walking boots with proper ankle support, as I know there's some reet gnarly bits on the path. Knackering an ankle is a quick way to end up in deep shit, even when no more than a mile or so from the neared road.
If the weather forecast had been less certain, I'd have packed waterproofs
All of that on a run but I offset the ankle support with polls. Absolutely essential for gnarly descents and stopping you from doing your ankles. Same idea.
 
Good post. I think another factor that's not been mentioned is......knowing when to call it a day and turn around! The mountains have been there for a while, and they'll be there for another wee while yet, so if you don't make it to the top that day, there's always another day.
Pushing on through horrendous weather is oft times a bit daft and that's when your reserves give out and you go down. Was doing the Lharig Ghru one day, when that lovely sideways Scottish rain came in....you know the stuff that soaks you from the underneath? Tried to push through but eventually said to my oppo that's plenty and turned around.
The simple act of turning around and going back downhill gives you a little bit more energy to get cracking.
Agreed and I say it out loud before I set off. "if it gets too much. Turn around and go home".

Actually had one of those moments in August, came across a somewhat expanded stream which was now a river of fast moving water care of a torrential down pour. It was borderline bin it decision with probably 7-10 meters of total crossing distance before a sheer drop. I was cold at this point having now layered up with all my kit (three layers on top of my base layer) with shell, hat and hood on top and bottom.

Improvised risk mitigation was finding nearby boulders and lobbing them in, two half way along the gap to give me something to stop me going over the edge if I slipped and then three as a makeshift crossing, combined with my poles I made it over and it was quite literally downhill all the way from there.

The passing mountain bikers who came out of the mist past me later on clearly thought I was mental.
 
I turned round and walked back down the hill on my last trip to the Cairngorms - I got to the top of the Devil's Point, planning on going to go up to Cairn Toul, which is farther up the ridge, and saw that the fog was way too severe and there was sod all visibility. Younger me would have carried on trucking, older me thought better.
I had the pleasure of telling folks who were on the way up that their plans on going to Cairn Toul and Braeriach were out of the window. Including some who had come all the way up from England to do it. Still, better they are disappointed at the wasted day than dead.
And when you do that by proxy it's called leadership, takes broad shoulders to rain it off even when it's just yourself
 
I was once hiking up Pendle Hill on an August. I was outraged at some people in the picnic area car park setting off wearing trainers and high fashion t-shirts. (I was wearing three layers Plus an outer shell, and also my Salomon hiking boots, boot overlays and had goretex outer trousers packed in my bergan. Due to it being a ferociously hot summers day I also had factor 50 sunblock on the parts of my head not covered by my snood.
As I setup base camp, I was further outraged at a family with two young children attempting the assent, stupidly armed with nothing but local knowledge and a mobile phone to assist them to the 500m summit. I gripped them and offered to chaperone them back to the picnic area but was rudely declined!
As I made my ascent (after preloading with Kendal mint cake and some old 24hr rat pack bits (using a hexistove), I became very aware of the ruggedness of the tough grass either side of the path. I saw one silly woman bend down to readjust her flimsy trainers and I laughed at her as I swanned past easily with the aid of my walking poles and crampons.
Upon reaching the cairn at the summit, I was furious at the sheer lunacy of the assembled families with kids having a PICNIC! I offered to show them where they were on one of my spare maps but was told to feck off! I had the last laugh though when one of their kids scratched his knee trying to climb the cairn - And I didn’t even offer them use of my space blanket. That taught the unworthy ignorant bastards!
 
I was being a cunt years ago.
One of my mates was a very wealthy trader in the city and held a private party on a balcony overlooking the thames.
One of his mates bet me that I could not swim over the river and I took him up on his offer.
Now, I had spent several months over the years in heavy surf in the Carribean and could read the tide.
The thames was on an ebb tide and I worked out that I would end up at London bridge at the worst.
A copper overheard the conversation and told me I would be nicked if I entered the river.
Being an Island nation we have very specific and unique maritime laws,including where we can be told to swim and, sail boats.
He was less than impressed when I asked him which act I would be charged under.
 
Wooooosh.

My point being that I don't go to furrin countries to eat what I can get at home. Whilst the Wiener schnitzel may have arrived from Austria the jaeger schnitzel and zigeuner schnitzel are considered einheimische kuche across the German speaking countries. Further, Gyro's and doner* are now both a staple of boxhead fast food, italian, well, in this case it was proper italian pizza made with dough from semolina flour and it tasted yummy.......and the bloke spoke German with an authentic Italian accent.

I also had a currywurst, mit pommes und mayonaise, if that is any good.:)

Note: * Gyro's is the Greek version whilst Doner is the Turkish version.
So you traveled to Germany and to fit in culturally you had takeaway food you could get in any small town in the UK?

It would blow your mind to come to rural NSW where you can get all that made by people who can also talk in funny foreign lingo.

What cultural back water do you come from?
 
I was being a **** years ago.
One of my mates was a very wealthy trader in the city and held a private party on a balcony overlooking the thames.
One of his mates bet me that I could not swim over the river and I took him up on his offer.
Now, I had spent several months over the years in heavy surf in the Carribean and could read the tide.
The thames was on an ebb tide and I worked out that I would end up at London bridge at the worst.
A copper overheard the conversation and told me I would be nicked if I entered the river.
Being an Island nation we have very specific and unique maritime laws,including where we can be told to swim and, sail boats.
He was less than impressed when I asked him which act I would be charged under.
Was this prior to 2012?
 
I was being a **** years ago.
One of my mates was a very wealthy trader in the city and held a private party on a balcony overlooking the thames.
One of his mates bet me that I could not swim over the river and I took him up on his offer.
Now, I had spent several months over the years in heavy surf in the Carribean and could read the tide.
The thames was on an ebb tide and I worked out that I would end up at London bridge at the worst.
A copper overheard the conversation and told me I would be nicked if I entered the river.
Being an Island nation we have very specific and unique maritime laws,including where we can be told to swim and, sail boats.
He was less than impressed when I asked him which act I would be charged under.
Yes you were being a *****.

The sort of **** that filled my weekends at Tower RNLI Station. If you think you know the tides and currents in the Thames enough to jump in safely from a balcony after a party then you are not just a **** but an uber****, however many months you have spent in the Caribbean surfing.

Your'e right, we have a number of specific maritime laws (Although I struggle to see which MARITIME laws apply to a river like the Thames) There are some rules that apply to the Thames, specifically. What the copper would have used to stop you:

Prior to 2012:

The Thames Navigation Licensing and General Byelaws 1993, - General conduct - Section 63 para b or e.

After 2012:

The Port of London Thames Byelaws Section 21. Bathing and swimming.
 
I was once hiking up Pendle Hill on an August. I was outraged at some people in the picnic area car park setting off wearing trainers and high fashion t-shirts. (I was wearing three layers Plus an outer shell, and also my Salomon hiking boots, boot overlays and had goretex outer trousers packed in my bergan. Due to it being a ferociously hot summers day I also had factor 50 sunblock on the parts of my head not covered by my snood.
As I setup base camp, I was further outraged at a family with two young children attempting the assent, stupidly armed with nothing but local knowledge and a mobile phone to assist them to the 500m summit. I gripped them and offered to chaperone them back to the picnic area but was rudely declined!
As I made my ascent (after preloading with Kendal mint cake and some old 24hr rat pack bits (using a hexistove), I became very aware of the ruggedness of the tough grass either side of the path. I saw one silly woman bend down to readjust her flimsy trainers and I laughed at her as I swanned past easily with the aid of my walking poles and crampons.
Upon reaching the cairn at the summit, I was furious at the sheer lunacy of the assembled families with kids having a PICNIC! I offered to show them where they were on one of my spare maps but was told to feck off! I had the last laugh though when one of their kids scratched his knee trying to climb the cairn - And I didn’t even offer them use of my space blanket. That taught the unworthy ignorant bastards!
Ah yes, Pendle Hill... Fan Dance of the North. You did a grand job and should be rightly smug and proud of yourself. I bet you were a sight for sore eyes!

I did Girl Guide Them selection aged 14 on Pendle Hill and, man, it was rough. One of my mukkers got a nosebleed at the top (start of altitude sickness maybe), following a wet and miserable, trudging ascent without crampons, poles or ropes. After attention from our patrol medic we managed to make our way off the hill without further injury, only to find the bus had left without us and, with no chance of medevac, we had to tab all the way back to camp.

Halfway back our supplies were running out, we were knackered, and our kagoules were leaking. Morale was low and it looked like we might not make it. As patrol leader I made an executive decision, took each girl's emergency 10p-for-the-phone and resupplied with Top Deck shandy and half a Lion Bar each. It meant we no longer had money for the phone but who were we going to call - no comms back at camp, and our parents had dumped us for the week anyway.

We recharged sitting on a soggy wall for half an hour before pushing on and finally arriving safely back at camp, dehydrated, starving and pissed off. I had an interview without coffee for missing the bus but was commended for getting the patrol unscathed back to camp before dark. It was a close-run thing though, and a salutary lesson in how quickly things can go wrong when you're messing about on top of a hill making up a dance to "Stars on 45" in the rain.

ZYYujMl.jpg
 
Yes you were being a *****.

The sort of **** that filled my weekends at Tower RNLI Station. If you think you know the tides and currents in the Thames enough to jump in safely from a balcony after a party then you are not just a **** but an uber****, however many months you have spent in the Caribbean surfing.

Your'e right, we have a number of specific maritime laws (Although I struggle to see which MARITIME laws apply to a river like the Thames) There are some rules that apply to the Thames, specifically. What the copper would have used to stop you:

Prior to 2012:

The Thames Navigation Licensing and General Byelaws 1993, - General conduct - Section 63 para b or e.

After 2012:

The Port of London Thames Byelaws Section 21. Bathing and swimming.
Defiantly no chance of being hit by redoubt towing a barge or marine 2 whacking into you at 40kts on the plane. :rolleyes:
 
Defiantly no chance of being hit by redoubt towing a barge or marine 2 whacking into you at 40kts on the plane. :rolleyes:
Indeed. There is a reason for the rules. The Thames is the busiest inland waterway in the country, and a working port, not a play park.

It's also, most of the year, bloody cold, and much faster than anyone thinks (or looks from the bankside).

A head and shoulders in the water is virtually impossible to see from the bridge of a working vessel in daylight, let alone the dark. It's why Swimmers in these environments have a support boat, sporting and ALPHA flag - not so much for the feeding etc. more to stop them getting run over.

Surviving an unauthorised and unsupported swim in the Thames is just sheer luck, and NOTHING to do with skill or fitness of the swimmer.
 
So you traveled to Germany and to fit in culturally you had takeaway food you could get in any small town in the UK?

It would blow your mind to come to rural NSW where you can get all that made by people who can also talk in funny foreign lingo.

What cultural back water do you come from?
I don't think you can get currywurst mit pommes und mayonaise in a UK takeaway, I've been away for a few years mind. After spinal surgery I was not much inclined to use takeaways for my nosh, well other than visiting a landmark schnelli in Koeln for the currywurst, twice, enjoying the day and a view of the Rhine.

I don't think arriving in NSW would shock me anymore after my first visit there, I like Oz and the Akubra presented to me is still worn on rainy days.

As for me, well, actually I am a passport holding, pilsner drinking, property owning, boxhead by birth...........so culturally I think me and my mates know what works best in Germany.;) Even in Angela's more diversified Germany.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
All of that on a run but I offset the ankle support with polls. Absolutely essential for gnarly descents and stopping you from doing your ankles. Same idea.
Gallup or YouGov ?
 

Similar threads

New Posts

Top