Hill fit...tashs bergans and ahem.. dogs cough..(regular)

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Coffee_not_sleep, Jun 7, 2009.

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  1. Hullo.
    Ok, the situation is thus - I want to grow a monster tash.
    Someone told me before i can actually get a monster tash
    i need to run up lots of hills, eat a lot, sleep all day and preferably join doll patrol. Then put lots of heavy things on my back, for some reason.

    I was thinking of investing in a dog - as a furry hill training aide. I'm TA -for now-, but after dog advice from regulars.
    Has anyone ever taken a dog up big nasty scary hills?
    - does a dog actaully help in the process of getting up hills (does it bolt up them and give you smug looks till you catch up?)
    - if one feeds a knackered dog sports energy drinks, does it kind of spazz out all over the hills?
    Is the spazz out any way amusing enough to compensate for hunting down the little F#%*r afterwards
    - can a knackered dog fit in a bergan?

    Oh, i suppose i should ask the obvious?
    - CAN a dog handle hill walks?
    - If not, how many hours can it take before its dog under shoulder time

    Ta very much. Further advice on the topic of hills, and their walking on, is welcome but treated with caution. Advice for resisting knee injuries on hills, knee tracking, and tendon issues greatly welcome.
    Please, only reply if you HAVE scampered up a big scary hill. Couch potato's need not apply unless they dispense scorn and sarcasm

    (PS If a dog does selection, can it too grow a droopy bandito tash ? ) Has anyone ever ACTUALLY put a dog in a bergan?
  2. Not THEM really big scary hills, but when I did weight training (with bergen, size of western australia, dpm) I used some Chondroitin Sulphate and Glucosamine type pills, available at Boots for extortionate money, to prevent my knees getting knackered as that runs in t'family.
    Worked a treat in conjunction with some ordinary Zinc/Vitamin tablets to keep the immune system on its toes. It ain't cheap though...
    No idea about dog, will consult ex-missus in the morning, she fecking hated running. And didn't fit in a bergen, the fat cow.
  3. One of the most amusing posts I've seen on ARRSE in a long time but I don't have a clue how to answer it.
  4. I call WAH.

    Funny though.
  5. Took my dog a few times small(ish) border terrier cross he loved it can't trust the little cunt off the lead though as he'd soon be full of lead shot for worrying the sheep so to speak
  6. I can't be bothered to reply.
  7. If not a wah-
    Get a Collie - sheep dog type - will run up hills all day long and when you fall over will just stand and laugh at you , if you plan on growing the tash soon then get a rescue dog a couple of years old as it takes about 18 months before the dog is mature enough to stand the kind of K's you will have to do before you get your tash.
    I believe some strains of collie from the welsh borders come with a roll of black nasty as standard issue to protect PERSEC in event of cute puppy pics being taken.
  8. Some of my Collie,s specs - V-max seems to be 30 ish mph (measured on my MTB speedo)
    - Trot or what appears to be prefered speed for endurance 10-12 mph
    - Easily achieved distance 30 miles running beside MTB
    - Max distance ever undertaken with person on foot, 80 miles in 15 1/2 hrs along southdowns way .

    Seems to be fairly maint free ( much less than wife ! ) if doing this type of exercise then a similar regime to yours should be followed , Joint Aid ( Glucosamine , MSM & Vitamin C ) tablets given daily , cod-liver oil and multi vitamins also are a good idea. If a hot day or dry area then carry plenty of water for him/her .

    Be prepared for "Dog Envey" as the little bugger dances up "that big hill" for the second time and still has energy to chase rabbits and try and shag another dog on the way up, when they just stop and drink from a minging puddle and you have run out of water , they grab a little snack of sheeps pooh or manky dead rabbit when you are starving .

    As mentioned "a dog is for life" so just to get one just for training is not a good plan , also what will happen to it when you move on to the next phase or are away with work ?

    We have 2 dogs , the collie is way faster and fitter than the collie x lab , consumes less water during exercise and eats way less . Both are now 7 years old and slowing down a bit (so am I ) but if I cover 15 miles they must cover another 5 running around chasing stuff even now , they are a bit achey and stiff afterwards now.