Sam has been in the computer business for twenty five years and is finally sick of the job. He quits and buys fifty acres of land in a remote part of the Highlands as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a fortnight and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big bearded Highlander, kilt and all, standing there. "Ma name's Hamish laddy, yer neighbour from four miles over yon ridge ... having a wee party Saturday, thought ye'd like tae come." "Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Hamish is leaving he stops, "Got tae warn ye there's going tae be some serious drinkin'." "Not a problem ... after 25 years in the computer business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, as he starts to leave Hamish stops. "More 'n' likely going tae be some fightin' too laddy." "Damn, tough crowd." Sam thinks but says, "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again." Once again Hamish turns from the door. "I've seen some wild kinky sex at these parties, too." "Now that's not a problem," says Sam, "remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there ... by the way, what should I wear?" Hamish stops in the door again and says, "Whatever ye want, just going tae be the two of us."