Hiding a serve case of herpes from your partner?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Roadside IED, Jun 18, 2012.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Lads, due to come back after a recent tour, and have managed to get myself a severe case of herpes after some long cold nights being warmed up by one of my squaddies!

    Now how am I going to get rid of the evidence by the time I get back to my wife and kids, she's always been a fan of playing with my arsehole during sex, (maybe why I enjoyed my squaddie so much) but she'll definitely have concerns about my lifestyle once I get back if I still have signs of herpes.

    Any help will be greatly appreciated, and do share advice or stories if you can!
  2. Kill yourself. Job jobbed
    • Like Like x 2
  3. O. M. G.
  4. B. O. H.

    (bag over head)
    • Like Like x 15
  5. Serious replies wanted only please folks, I'm in a bit of a quandry here and really worried!
  6. Are you sure you want to add Roadside IED to your ignore list?

    PS, it's spelled s-e-v-e-r-e you fucking dullard.
  7. 12 pints of mild,
    A good hot curry,
    An Lb of liquourish,
    a bit of castor oil,
    a bowl of all bran

    Won't cure your complaint but will remind you what your arsehole is for....................................................
    • Like Like x 12
  8. Place chisel on forehead... headbutt something hard and un-gving.
  9. Why don't you just kill yourself now? It'll save pages worth of posts from people telling you to do so later on.
  10. Seriously....

    Tell missus you will be a couple of weeks late, seduce the milkman and hide on camp for a few weeks.

    Use lots of cover up and blame it on your missus catching it from the milkman
  11. And you thought USMC was a nuisance...
  12. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    Night of the Long Mongs for sure.
    • Like Like x 6
  13. In fairness, great plan, much appreciated!