Hiding a serve case of herpes from your partner?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Roadside IED, Jun 18, 2012.

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  1. Lads, due to come back after a recent tour, and have managed to get myself a severe case of herpes after some long cold nights being warmed up by one of my squaddies!

    Now how am I going to get rid of the evidence by the time I get back to my wife and kids, she's always been a fan of playing with my arsehole during sex, (maybe why I enjoyed my squaddie so much) but she'll definitely have concerns about my lifestyle once I get back if I still have signs of herpes.

    Any help will be greatly appreciated, and do share advice or stories if you can!
     
  2. Kill yourself. Job jobbed
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. O. M. G.
     
  4. B. O. H.




    (bag over head)
     
    • Like Like x 15
  5. Serious replies wanted only please folks, I'm in a bit of a quandry here and really worried!
     
  6. Are you sure you want to add Roadside IED to your ignore list?

    PS, it's spelled s-e-v-e-r-e you fucking dullard.
     
  7. 12 pints of mild,
    A good hot curry,
    An Lb of liquourish,
    a bit of castor oil,
    a bowl of all bran

    Won't cure your complaint but will remind you what your arsehole is for....................................................
     
    • Like Like x 12
  8. Place chisel on forehead... headbutt something hard and un-gving.
     
  9. Why don't you just kill yourself now? It'll save pages worth of posts from people telling you to do so later on.
     
  10. Seriously....

    Tell missus you will be a couple of weeks late, seduce the milkman and hide on camp for a few weeks.

    Use lots of cover up and blame it on your missus catching it from the milkman
     
  11. And you thought USMC was a nuisance...
     
  12. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    Night of the Long Mongs for sure.
     
    • Like Like x 6
  13. In fairness, great plan, much appreciated!