Henno wannabe

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by gunnerfalkey, Apr 15, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Hey guys, just thought I would grab your opinion on something

    An RLC chef l/cpl from our unit has started to act very strangely. It started off when he rocked up at a drill night in a red discovery.

    As this was a new car from his fiesta the lads and I had a bit of banter about it and asked when he bought it etc but when he started to speak this deep slow voice came out that is entirely unlike anything we have ever heard from him. It was punctuated by extremely long pauses and the slight nodding of his head. "LADS...........I GOT IT...........TWO WEEKS AGO......FROM THE......DEALERS *long sigh and head nod*"

    Immediately we thought it was strange as something wasn't quite right.

    The next week it became even stranger, being a games night we rocked up for parade in our civvis. He arrived with a completetely shaved head and was wearing a blue checked shirt with desert boots and 501's. The same old deep voice and head nodding.

    In the bar he then came in the door from his car with a pile of Ultimate force DVD's!!! He exclaimed (in the henno voice) "LADIES.....SIT DOWN......AND OBSERVE" A shocked silence permeated the bar. He then proceeded to sit in front of the TV and watch episode after episode mumbling "yes" "great" at random intervals.

    When at the bar he remained silent, just doing a 1000 yard stare into his pint.

    He has subsequently came in with an SAS smock and now refers to officers as "ruperts"; and came out with all these henno quotes; for example someone was pouring screech into a cup from a tea urn but the tap was a bit slow, so he ripped off the lid and just dunked the cup in with the henno quote "a little less conversation".

    It got worse last week in the bar when he was heading home. One of the lads patted him on the back but he turned round and put them in some sort of wrist lock with the amazing quote "NEVER USE FORCE........UNLESS YOU ARE CERTAIN.........YOU WILL WIN!"

    How exactly should this character be dealt with? How has this happened? This is honestly NOT a Wah.
  2. Youtube!
  3. Is it you???

  4. I am afraid not
  5. No he's a tube
  6. Has he recently come back from a tour? Maybe that messed his head up a little if he has??

    Either that or he really is just not all there!

  7. Well that's the thing, we would understand if he had been on tour with PTSD and all that, but he hasn't. He has never been on ops.
  8. mmm very strange behaviour...have you tried giving him a severe beating?
  9. Are you lying?
  10. Could always just be blunt and ask him what the feck he's doing?!
  11. Nope
  12. As a chef, shouldn't he be growing a ponytail and a fat belly ala "not just a Chef"?

  13. Personally ...... I'd go with the severe beating
  14. I think you are telling a big porky pie but if I am wrong your unit sounds like trtemendous fun to be in ! Do you bob for apples and hum encouraging mantras on a parade night ? :D