Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ugly, Jul 10, 2013.

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  1. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Travelling up to town on the train on monday and I was surrounded by scantily clad females, I experienced a Henman, an unexpected semi!
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    Yeah, but you never get to make the final. Too many balls out of court...

  3. Did you take advantage of it and rip the head off it?

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  4. Mind if I pinch that?
  5. D' accord. Motion of the train + visual stimulus = Semi. Examined & Discharged.

    There's a few on here gets a lob on just lookin' at trains. Refer to Joint Services Psychiatric Service.
  6. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    Tear the arse out of it, I expect no less!
  7. About 6 of us on a train journey to a party in a nurses home. Some itinerant ginger lass, travelling with her mother, ups and drags one of the lads off to the bog for a blow job. No hello, no words of endearment, simply grabbed and ate.

    Truly a 'Reader's Letters' moment.

    Needless to say, I failed to trap at the party.
  8. Come on Tim!
    • Like Like x 2
  9. Be very careful.Remember your age and heart condition.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. That's as good as it gets at his age.
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Now why I m I not surprised by this statement !! At least you made your mates look good....lol!
  12. I used to commute into the City donkey's years ago. Always on the 0620 train. I'd climb the station stairs up to the platform to be confronted by a row of commuters, mostly female, waiting in a single rank at the edge of the platform for the next train. During a couple of months of summer, the sun would create the most exquisite silhouettes against young secretary's moving parts.

    Train semi indeed. I still refer back occasionally when cracking the lid off one.
  13. Tennis Bukake?
    • Like Like x 1
  14. To continue the sporting theme, a girl like this is referred to as a 'Heskey' in that she goes down if you simply look at her.
    • Like Like x 1
  15. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    I remember getting the train many times whenever we went on leave during my time at Arborfield. Being a walking hormone at the time and having next to no contact with females, it was only natural to be frothing like a rabid dog whenever we got a sniff of the main gate once we were booked out of camp.

    On full alert that day, I was sat on one of the four-seat table parts of the train and I distinctly remember a voluptuous MILF sitting on the seat opposite when she got on at Swindon. Heavy make-up, short cut top exposing a cleavage you could fucking ski down, it was magnificent. As was the reaction in my trouser department. I'm sure she'd noticed I couldn't keep my eyes away either; but rather than make her feel the uneasiness of a strange teenager staring her out - decided to make useless and cringeworthy conversation in my best Kevin & Perry voice.

    She had an English accent so naturally I'd assume she'd be getting off at Brizzol, and fully intended to get off shortly after that in the ever-spottless British Rail toilet cubicle at the end of the cabin. To my surprise though, she was still there by the time I'd reached my town (Neath). Also still there was a throbbing in the lower decks which I'd now started to wish would go down at a rapid rate of knots so I could actually stand up without making myself look like an extra hand rail.

    As I waited to the last possible moment, I decided the best thing to do was to stand up rather awkwardly, with my jacket overhanging loosely to obscure the vision (as if she'd be looking there anyway). But as I went to stand up, it caught on the underside of the table, eventually springing itself ...and the bottom of my jacket away with it.

    If I didn't think she'd be looking there before, she certainly noticed now I'd drawn so much attention to myself. She put her hand over her mouth to hide her snigger, whilst looking rather obviously out of the window with a slight red hue to her face. Nothing compared to the shade of fucking beetroot mine now was.
    • Like Like x 2