HELP

Can anyone help me to find out what I’m entitled to?

My fiancé and I are both serving soldiers, she is pregnant and we are both over the moon but don’t want to get married just yet. I’ve managed to get a posting closer to her about a month before she’s due to drop, any help welcomed!

Many Thanks in advance.

 

SH,

You will find that she is entitled to a quarter, if she isn't choosing to leave. However you are not allowed to occupy it as well until you are married. You should be entitled to paternity leave but you'd need to check the rules for eligibility and conditions.

Your best port of call will be your Families/Welfare Officer and Admin Office.

 

So you're engaged? That suggests you are intending to get married? Why not just have a quickie marriage so that you can both be posted at the same regiment? (thats if you are the same cap badge)

You can always have the 'ceremony' again at a later date.

 

Firstly congrats on the news of your forthcoming fatherhood,
But as far as your entitlements goes it pretty much adds up to sweet fcuk all, my advice would be:
I know you have said that you both dont wish to marry just yet, which is depending on someones point of view is something you should do as you are both entering into parenthood, however this is the modern tree hugging 2007 attitude of there is no need for it.
But the Army does not see it that way, so why not,(just an idea) as cheaply as possible by just get married at a registras in your jeans and 't' shirt(no frills) and get the certificate that the Army wants, get a pre-nuptual agreement done up with a solicitor stating that niether is entitled to fcuk all if you get divorced etc etc, so in theory there is minimum commitment.
The whole thing would have a minimum cost but you get that all important certificate, and then get the full entitlement to live and be treated as one unit by the Army, and recieve all the other financial perks when un-accompanied etc.
If it all fails you both walk away and just end up as one of the many other divorced single parent statistics, however if in the future you both decide to make it a more formal relationship then all you do is have the big fancy wedding thing and have your vows blessed with all the white wedding b0ll0cks etc etc.

I believe that the Army is in the dark ages when it comes to what is a life commitment etc etc But I do also see the reasoning behind having clear guidelines, but doesnt say for example a couple who have been together for over 10 years, have 2 kids a morgage etc not show a commitment, but in the eyes of the Army they would have to get married before they would recognise there commitment.

Apoligies for the long explanation and I know it doesnt really answer your question, but its just an idea.

 

If you don't want to get married just yet but want to co-habit then renting privately would solve one of the problems for you. But don't be fooled into thinking pre-nuptual agreements have any particular sway with Courts in any possible divorce. Once you've done the deed you're subject to an entirely different Act and pre-nups will only be seen as an 'intent' or possible guideline.

 

Yep totally agree that renting privately would solve one of the problems but that comes at a cost, rent would be a considerable ammount more expensive and therefore its another perk of being married in the forces being nil and void. And remember that they are both serving, so postings close by/together could become an issue(living out, travel to work etc) and if they were to be posted to say Germany then it opens a whole other can of worms. But yes renting privatly is an option.

On the pre-nuptual(thanks for the spelling lesson ) Then I'd advice people to take northern_sange advise on the matter, as I only suggested it as an idea as I have absolute no knowledge of the ins and out of such agreements

 

I can’t go into to much detail… but my fiancé is on a re-trade course that has a return of service to complete, I understand that we should just get hitched quickly, but try telling her that! I just want to be around her and the baby; I’ll be posted about 30miles away from them so that’s better than being stuck here in Germany.