Help!

#1
Alright guys,

How many of you on here are in a happy relationship and are in the TA?

I've just been speaking to a guy who's in the TA, after asking for some advice/info on joining we got onto tours it put me off slightly... I mean, he said you're away for 12 months in total, 6 on tour and 6 preparing for the tour, during this time you could be living away... If that ain't a relationship-killer I dont know what is!?

How do you maintain your relationship with your other halves when you have to do that? I'm living with the missus at the moment and am very happy but I want to join the TA. She said to join if thats what I want to do but I dont want this to cause us to break-up...

The flipside though, he reckons you can save £6k - £10k whilst away. I wouldn't want to join and not do a tour, after all thats what its all about but i suppose i'm just after some words of assurance or advice...........
 
#3
Get your priorities right:

Family -> Work ->TA

msr
 
#4
Just a passing comment cos im not in a relationship, but i think your missus would be proud of you knowing that your trying to protect the future of your chidren.

I didn't know there was a 6 month pre deployment away aswell :?

Not very helpfull but heyho :)
 
#5
My priorities are straight ???... what I was asking is if anyone else is in this situation and can give any insight into how they're coping. Im considering joining but if it cant be fitted in then I wont bother...
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Jiblit said:
I didn't know there was a 6 month pre deployment away aswell :?
There isn't. Well. not for most of us anyway. A standard Infantryman mobilising will do between three to four months Pre Deployment Training (PDT). However, once you return from theatre (between six and seven month tour) you will have racked up a couple of months worth of Post Operational Tour Leave (POTL) and accumulated annual leave. You will of course be at home for your leave and can resume your civilian work.
 
#7
RP578 said:
Jiblit said:
I didn't know there was a 6 month pre deployment away aswell :?
There isn't. Well. not for most of us anyway. A standard Infantryman mobilising will do between three to four months Pre Deployment Training (PDT). However, once you return from theatre (between six and seven month tour) you will have racked up a couple of months worth of Post Operational Tour Leave (POTL) and accumulated annual leave. You will of course be at home for your leave and can resume your civilian work.
cool thanks for that.
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
Jacko1981 said:
According to the Sgt i've just spoken to a tour consists of:

6 months PDT
6 months tour (with 2 week R&R in between)

?????
Well, OK. If that's what you do then that's what you do. Who am I to contradict your Sgt?
 
#11
There is no DS solution to this, only people's experience.

The best way to find out is crack on and find out how it works best for you.

If it didn't work on some level, no one would stay in!
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
Jacko1981,

I don't know your Sgt, what kind of tour he did, what kind of tours your unit does. All I can I speak from is my own experience of being mobilised for both Iraq and Afghanistan. Personally, I think that you may have misunderstood/misinterpreted what your your Sgt actually said as you are called out for 12 months in total, if you did 6 months PDT and and 6 months on tour, there would be no time left for demob, POTL or accumulated leave. Maybe he extended his enlistment (I did on my last tour), but I think you got the wrong end of the stick.

Being away from your loved one for such a long time can be very hard for such a long period of time, but remember that most weekends during your PDT are free (you're not in the TA now you know!) and you will usually get a couple of weeks pre-tour leave. So you will get see your partner on a regular basis albeit with a fair amount of traveling on weekends (I had to fly from Belfast, but only bothered every other weekend).
 
#14
Firstly, you will need to get through your initial training before you start worrying about a tour, that will probably take a year, then who knows - the war may be over by then I know, I know it's never going to end!

I've been through 2 Op tours since being with my missus, if she's a good girl then she'll stand by you, if she's not, then fuck her, plenty more out there. The time goes by pretty quickly anyway, 6 months away is not that long if you think about it.
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#15
blobmeister said:
It depends on the unit you are being seconded too! If they have a package whereby you do 6mths, then 6mths it is!
Well not really. Our receiving battalion started its PDT in mid October, but because of the 12 month mobilisation limit we could only be mobilised in mid November (some mobilised even later due to other considerations). And even then they managed to miscalculate, it turned out that they had still call us out too early and we had to either sign an extension of our enlistments or leave theatre about a month early and demob.
 
#16
Depends on what your partner thinks about it .Pretty sure putting my wife through another tour is a bit selfish ,but,I'm glad I did one.Join and get trained plenty of time to decide whether you want to go or not later its notl like the war is going to be over anytime soon.
 
#17
"Pretty sure putting my wife through another tour is a bit selfish"

Not as selfish as putting her through you staying at home, mate.
 

RP578

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Bravo_Bravo said:
"Pretty sure putting my wife through another tour is a bit selfish"

Not as selfish as putting her through you staying at home, mate.
My bold: I thought he meant he was mobilising his wife in order to get rid of her. Now there's an idea ... :D
 
#19
I went to Germany straight after Chilwell so I spent the majority of time away during mobilisation, but it didnt harm my marriage, it probably did it good

I wont mention Harems
 
#20
Speaking as someone who's on both sides of the fence...It's just 9 months really that you're actually apart and that's nothing in the long scheme of things. You just have to plan time together when you are free and make the most of that. In any relationship that's worth it's salt, you support each other through the stuff you want to do in life. If that means being apart for a few months so be it. Not always easy - specially when you throw in the emotional stuff, the being exhausted and the seeing some shite stuff that comes along with a tour. But if you're both aware of that and prepared to be tolerant of the times when one of you is having a bit of a hard time, you'll do just fine.
 
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