Help with best mans speech

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by VerminWA, Oct 24, 2005.

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  1. I'm in the middle of writing a best mans speech, any help will be gratefully recieved but in particular I need a way of saying that someone is an artful thief. i.e. he could steal the teeth out the back of your head! Yes he'll be a scouser!
  2. "He's the sort of bloke who would be able to sell Eskimos their own ice back!" might fit the bill, if he is also known as a bit of a wheeler-dealer........
  3. Nice, like it!
  4. Velcro hands, magnetic fingers are ones that have been used on me… …I mean a friend of mine to good effect.

    Remind everyone to check their rings/fingers after they've congratulated them.

    Good luck!

  5. And so will half the Guestlist?

    :lol: :lol: Dont back yerself into a corner that you wont be able to fight yer way out of.... :lol:
  6. Hence trying to find a nice way of putting it! 8O :wink:
  7. Bit of advice, the scouse jokes got old years ago, We have heard them all. If you want a tumbleweed to blow past on your moment of fame go right ahead.
  8. Calm down, calm down. Nicked any motors lately scouse?
  9. Oh come on! Give the guy half a chance.... 99% of comedy is in the delivery! Plus, at a wedding reception, the "audience" are all on your side! They want a laugh, and will probably laugh at even the lamest joke! (Trust me!)

    As long as the "Scouse" jokes aren't done to death, it could be very effective.

  10. Exactly they want a laugh, not something they hear everytime they leave the M62. Trust me it's a recipe for disaster, or one of them laughs that nobody really means :wink:
  11. Yeah, yeah, whatever La.....................................any chance of getting me a Bose stereo?
  12. Meet me at the back of the Red Lion at 23:59.
  13. Recommend non scouse jokes. Just pick a character trait and tell some jokes based on that and all the birds he's been with since you've known him!!

    As a fellow scouser the scouse jokes get a bit tiring after a while believe me.
  14. Not a problem La. I'll recognise you by the curly hair and porn 'tache a la 3 para mortar pln..................................and the track marks going up your arm.
  15. try :

    lots of categories and some of them aren't too lame...