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Help with baked beans!

#1
Ok, in a new flat, and I cant find my tin opener. Don't think I've seen it since I moved.

Heres the problem- I want beans on toast. I've made the toast, but I cant get into my beans. Any one know of any ways to get into them sing only my wit courage and various kitchen things?

T C
 
#4
8) Put the tin in a pot of water, bring to the boil and keep boiling until the tin explodes.
Effective, but messy.
 
#5
You must be pi$$ed. Use the ring-pull.

edited to add:

It's on the TOP of the can.
 
#6
oh, and i've now got this fancy new Siemens touch activated elecric hob thingy... I can only get one of them going and its at full whack... Any one got any experience with these?

T C
 
#7
The_Cheat said:
Ok, in a new flat, and I cant find my tin opener. Don't think I've seen it since I moved.

Heres the problem- I want beans on toast. I've made the toast, but I cant get into my beans. Any one know of any ways to get into them sing only my wit courage and various kitchen things?

T C
I keep a 'tin opener' in my kitchen for just that event, You dullard. You deserve to starve - they call it natural selection!
 
#8
The_Cheat said:
oh, and i've now got this fancy new Siemens touch activated elecric hob thingy... I can only get one of them going and its at full whack... Any one got any experience with these?

T C
Just put the hexi burner on top of the one that works. It'll light a treat.
 
#9
Stand tin on ring.

Tin will spontaeously open after a few moments, epecially if you dent the top.

Tin will also succesfully turn off the ring.

Beans will also be hot.

Rest toast on top of can for best results.
 
#11
The_Cheat said:
oh, and i've now got this fancy new Siemens touch activated elecric hob thingy... I can only get one of them going and its at full whack... Any one got any experience with these?

T C
Life so far...has it proven to be a bit of a challenge?
 
#12
Can't see the problem here. Any chiv with a fairly point blade will open cans as sweet as a nut! Wrap a bit of tissue or cloth around the blade, grip it low down and away you go.

Or did I just bite?

MsG
 
#14
BabyDoc said:
If you have a penknife anywhere nearby there is a tool on there to open a can, it looks like the bottle opener one but is sharper.
is it called a can opener perchance?
Cos I heard this story once about a bloke called "the cheat" who didnt have one and asked for help to open his can in another way.

Crazy!


(Yes the hatred levels are doing well today - no i dont drink decaf')
 
#16
Give it another couple of hours, then ask to borrow your neighbour's.

Or go to Tesco and buy a tin opener. They're still open.
 
#17
Huge feck off knife, hammer, or screwdriver will work when applied to the lid with sufficient force and provide you with much baked bean happiness.
 
#18
Lay can on road, drive over end of can in car, lick beans off road, get run over by lorry.

Two birds one stone, natural selection wins again.
 
#19
You are obviously a nig. I still have a compo tin opener in my kitchen, one in my wallet (removed for air journeys) Unprepared is unprofessional. Initiative called for, and although some excellent ideas, I would recommend battering the fcuk out of the tin lid with a knife and another tin of beans until a bean sized hole appears, then simply let gravity do its thing. Should take a couple of days.
 
#20
The_Cheat said:
Ok, in a new flat, and I cant find my tin opener. Don't think I've seen it since I moved.

Heres the problem- I want beans on toast. I've made the toast, but I cant get into my beans. Any one know of any ways to get into them sing only my wit courage and various kitchen things?

T C
You must be a right bundle of laughs.

Why not toast your body using meths and a lighter? Hopefully the ensuing inferno will explode the bean can, the shrapnel ripping you a new a-hole.

You boring cnut.
 

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