HELP!! parent in need of advice

Discussion in 'Army Pay, Claims & JPA' started by gingerminx, Feb 10, 2006.

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  1. My 19yr old son called me last night to tell me he had been discharged. When he was home on leave a few weeks ago I told him that his brother had been in trouble again!! and was looking at up to a 7 year sentence. Then a few days later my mother got rushed into hospital we thought it was one thing turns out to be lung and liver cancer and only has weeks to live. He disappears for days turns out he had been on the pi** but also smoking weed with so called mates. He was drug tested on his return

    Is there anything he/we can do, he is a decent boy who joined up to better himself and try to get away from the area/people and influences back here.

    Any advice would be helpfull
  2. Write to His CO claiming mittigating circumstances. Unfortunatly, your lad would would have known that when you take drugs in the Army and get caught by CDT then you are more than likely to be discharged.
  3. What Drain Sniffer says is a good start but you will have to move quickly. If you can gather any supporting documentation and, if possible ask to see the CO yourself. It is a tough situation you are in, with everything else and I wish you all strength. If it was my son it would be tooth and nail effort from me.

    Best of luck.

  4. RTFQ


    Can't say much more than drain sniffer I'm afraid. Write a letter to the Commanding Officer at your son's unit (just use the address you use for for son) and explain. At least then you know you put the full story to him on behalf of your son, but that's the most you can do. The army is very clear cut on its drug policy, and I don't know of any exceptions that have ever been made.
  5. Gingerminx,

    I understand your concern for your son but:

    Did your son go into the army freely?

    Did your son know the Army policy of drug use?

    Did your son knowingly disregard the policy?

    Did your son willingly use the drugs?

    I suspect the answer to all four questions in your son's case is yes.

    He is an adult and 100% responsible for the choices he freely made. I have a lot of sympathy for you, his mother having to watch him thow his career away, but to be honest I have none for him. He has to take the consequences of his own actions.

    This may appear to ve very harsh - but if he is not held accountable for his actions, why should anyone else? Good job he is only 19 and still has plenty of years ahead of him to make a decent life for himself if he chooses to do so.
  6. Unfortunately for your son the policy on drugs is (quite rightly) pretty clear cut.

    However, it looks as if your son was being subject to a degree of stress. If I was you I would try the CO route first but if this fails write to your MP outlining the circumstances and making the point that his actions were stress related and were not usual. You might make the point that his actions were not typical and you feel that had he felt that he could have turned to professional organisations he would not have buried his problems in drink and drugs.

    If your son was a good soldier, well regarded and with a bright career ahead of him it is just possible that mitigation might work. If however he was a nuisance, continually in trouble and regarded as a liability you have no chance. All mums regard their sons as being good boys it goes with the job description. Try and sit down with him and ensure that he has no other baggage to hide before you write to the MP.

    This might work but it does depend very much on the Army's opinion of your son before he was tested for drugs. I have seen many good soldiers discharged because of one moments stupidity with drugs and, galling though it is, the policy of zero tolerance is absolutely right, otherwise we put the lives of others at risk. Some are let back in after a plea of mitigation - but it doesn't happen very often.
  7. I would echo the above - write to the CO - At the end of the day, the army does have a clear line - but you don't know until you try, if he is a good soldier normally, then he has a chance. And even if they discharge him, you need to be there to ensure a good transition to the civvie world!
  8. Thank you all comments so far noted.

    Im not sure when i will get to see him to talk to him,he was on one flight last night from his posting then will get to his Regiment in Germany by saturday i think....
  9. Did drugs, had his chance,got caught! Give him time he'll probably end up in jail as well

    Sorry no sympathy, and fighting his battles for him probably doesn't help

  10. you´re absolutely right, however i think that anyone can make mistakes, and it´s great to have someone to show you how stupid your mistakes are... at the end of the day he´s only 19...
  11. Dunno that this is much of an explanation. As we are constantly being told, stress is constituent part of military service. Even if he did not fully realise that drugs + army does not make sense, he should have had the sense to realise that drugs are short road to fcuked up career and life. Why should his proper-living colleagues have to live in close proximity to this failure?
    Oh - and yes. I've made mistakes but not those that would put me into the category this guy is in by his own efforts.