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Help Needed


A "friend of mine", who shares an office with 3 other desk officers, has a problem with his SO1.  The man is a prat of the first order.  But the chain of command think he is brilliant.  And that is aprtly due to the fact that the next 2 levels up in the chain are 100 miles away.

What can they do about it?
Depends on:

What rank your mate is;
What the problem (and cause of the problem) is with the SO1
What he wants to achieve.

If matey is quite jnr to SO1 he will prolly get a fair hearing if his complaint is genuine. I would start by getting a champion amongst the colleagues of the SO1 who would advise without talking to either the SO1 or his cmd.

It may well be that the reason the cmd think the SO1 is the dogs is because he is actually good at his job, personalities aside. Your mate then needs to decide on whether he has enough of an issue to make a complaint, or if it is just a personality clash. If it is just the later he may have to live with it for the tmie being, but if he is being genuinely picked on then he should not have to put up with it.

More details would help.
Find a friendly SO1 or higher who knows him and is aware of his track record and have a cosy little chat about what you can do about it.  If "your friend" like you is getting out of the Amry I would make the most of it and tell the chain of command you are leaving because of him.  STICK THE KNIFE in, if you don't know how go and find a Greenjacket!


Be old fashioned, put an NBC Outer glove on your hand, cr4p in it, wipe it in the air vents of his car, he'll still be an arse, maybe worse for a while but you can sit back and smile at his pale face every morning when he's driven in and his red face when he's been forced to cycle or run to the office because the stench is so bad ;D.

Note; All opinions/ideas expressed/mentioned on this entry are not those of the author but those of the little devil on my right shoulder that wears no crowns, pips or stripes, who has signed off and only has a few days to do..........who would you take career advice from? ???
Possibly the source of your 'friends' angst is a feeling of insecurity held by the SO1, which causes him to 'retaliate' in kind...thereby creating angst and misery. Counsel your pal to foster bridges with his superior officer. This could be done by staring at him continually, wearing a fixed smile, following him into the lavatories, and giving a 'double-thumbs-up' gesture whenever the SO1 says anything. He could place a framed photograph of his boss prominently upon his desk for all to see. If this fails to work, then your friend must confront his superior. Although difficult for most men, much could be gained by following the example set by our female colleagues. Burst into tears whenever spoken to by the Boss, and blurt "Why do you hate me so much?" in the middle of a briefing (preferably in front of the commander). This would force the whole team to confront the issues at hand.
Failing all of this, your pal should identify his SO1s immediate superior,and clamber into bed with him (probably at a battlefield tour or mess foonction). Having completed the seduction, pillow talk can consist of all the 'mean' things that pesky old colonel's been doing to upset you. Failing that again, accept that peacetime Armies tend to be run by noshers. Which is why they all get sacked at the start of major conflicts, and the '2nd XV' step up to run the show (Montgomery, Slim, O'Connor etc etc)
Hope this helps.


Thanks for the help so far although my friend says he will keep Vermins ideas in reserve for a while.

The man apparently remains a chopper but then again my frind should have expected that in a Crab.  But of course, the fact that he is short and fat have nothing to do with it.


Ahhh....crab, small and fat, the man is an 4rse because of severe inferiority complex brought on by the afore mentioned inflictions, rise above it in the knowledge that you are a far superior creature and you are living a far happier life even with his best efforts to try and bring it down to match his level of misery. ;)

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