Help needed for leaving speech

Discussion in 'Military History and Militaria' started by Gumbo, May 18, 2004.

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  1. I shall endeavour to protect his identity, but my One Up is having his Dining Out from my unit at the beginning of July. I am to do his leaving speech at the dinner. Whilst I have a ton of information/ammunition, there is one particular story that I am hoping to back up with fact - as follows:

    During Op TELIC 1, my One Up had a very annoying propensity to steal other people's rations. We are not talking the odd chocolate bar here, we are talking 3 or 4 MREs at a time. We were resupp'd every four days, so therefore there would be a pile stored at the beginning of this cycle. He would help himself on an ad hoc basis and consume said rations immediately. He did not hoard them. He was gently put in check when people were complaining of hunger and his habit abaited slightly- but not all together. So, here is the crux of my message. Having scoured Queens Regs and the Army Act 1955 and looked on the internet, I still cannot find any sections/chapters pertaining to members of the British Army stealing another person's rations. It is common belief though that in the 'olden days' this crime was punishable by death. It is this evidence that I am particularly after. I do not wish to put him under the axe or in front of a firing squad! but I do wish to have something official (even outdated) by which to kangaroo court him and allow the Dining Out attendees to sentence him accordingly.

    I would be much obliged if anyone could provide me with some steerage or even current or old official Regs that may suitable ammunition/material for this purpose. I thank you for your time.
  2. Section 69 is a good catch all. I loved it as an Adjt.
    There could be something on sabotage - his chums hungry and therefore not able to operate properly Treason see above.
    Gluttony one of the seven deadlies etc
    Miosappropriation etc
    Sorry I do not have easy access to a copy of the Army Act but you could have a go along those lines :D
  3. If you can't find anything official or actual (i.e. "Pertaining to Section XYZ, sub para ABC, clause 123 etc. of the Army Act 1955) try using some pseudo-official sounding fug like:

    "And so, for the wholesale blagging of an oppo's fresh, wets and Rat-Packs in the face of the enemy, under the 'Wholly Spurious QMS General Regs', and 'The Questionable Conduct Bordering on the Unbecoming for a Man of your Rank' Act (Nineteen Canteen), Paragraph 4, Sub Paragraph 17, Clause 8, you are hereby charged with wonton distruction of Her Majesty's Property (viz: food and other comestibles), Misappropriation of Liquids, various, and not replacing any of same.

    It shall now be up to The President of this Court Martial [( - whom ever you choose to name at this point - )] and an invited audience of your peers to decide the manner of said summary execution...errr...sorry...I mean punishment, suitable, one, for the delivery of..."

    Just a few thoughts off the top of my head; hope you get something sorted.
  4. A few years ago we did a belated charge (252) for a guy on leaving after 22 yrs, signed by the CO and framed. It went down a hoot when presented and they guy loved it.
  5. Bribe the Mess staff to serve his courses in rat pack boil-bags. Biscuits Brown with the first course!