HELP!! My neighbours brat is turning chav!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by spike7451, Apr 17, 2006.

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  1. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    I fnucking had to happen sooner or later!The little sh1t is turning chav & he's only 8!!!!He's constantly shouting & screaming,drawing on the walls & doing allt the chavy things.
    Just looked out the window to see hm swaggering past,Hoodie on with the regulation base ball cap!!
    (wonder if the Health Authority can invent a test for 'chavism' before birth?)
  2. I was going to say cadets, but hes not old enough, have him shown round a prison that would put him off doing anything chavy.
  3. Phone canada, they may have some unneeded clubs going cheap.
  4. mini rugby? Scouts (cubs if too young?).
  5. chavism is contagious, they catch it at school from other kids, kinda like nits.
    unfortunately a fine tooth comb wont fix the ploblem, i'm afraid your just going to have too smash its foul mouthed mong of a head in with a brick, its a mercy killing man, it makes it easier thinking how much of a favour your doing the rest of the world.
  6. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Would'nt work!....The family make Wayne & Waynetta Slob look like a normal family! Besides,mini rugger & scouts mean physical activity,Apart from walking to the Ice Cream van,I dont think they could handle that!
  7. try hanging him, just as a lesson to others
  8. feckin good hiding will sort him out followed by telling him to "JOG ON YOU LITTLE SCROT" :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
  9. Even if he was old enough for the cadets not a certainty. Half brick in a sock is answer to most chav problems.
  10. Was going to say how about a little parental guidance but you answered my question there!
  11. I caught my 8yr boy old in a NYC baseball cap trying to rap. Took him up the Mournes to the top of Slieve Donard. Showed him a hard beasting and pushing himself. He now hates chav's now and wants to either be an ALM on the Chonook/Puma fleet or a Para Officer. He can spot a spide or a chav at 1000 yards and now hates scum. Sports kit is for the Gym. My kids now refuse to wear sports clothing unless they are training or doing gym/ballet/rugby. My 5 year old daughter spotted a few wee spides/millies/girlie chavs today in Belfast and said Daddy they look awful, I hate hoopy earings and shell suits and hearing bad words from girls with scrunchies. It's all about conditioning and habituation with your kids. She is now looking for a handsome prince so any Booze & Royals Subalaterns fancy a date in 15 years time ?
  12. Three nails and a fence somewhere a la Easter all over again you could run him thru and place a Burberry Corwn of thorns on his swede too. An example to all men of the error of the chav ways.
    Or take him to the zoo and catapult the fecker into the lions enclosure. Bit of Phys for the little porker and Wayne and Waynetta get their 15 mins of fame on your local BBC channel saying what a great kid he was etc etc. Plus if they are W & Wetta they will have one less kid so will be forced to move out of the bigger house they have been given by DHE/Council etc
    God too much Jamesons.......
  13. Not handsome or a prince but if you're offering your daughter at 16-20 then I'll take her :D :p
  14. Should get a book published, "The Arrser's way to: Raise children, Deal with Chav's, and still get drunk in the process", any publishers about?
  15. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    :lol: Belfast millie's! Feck they make the Battersby's look tame!! Either fat or anorexic,White Shellsuit & dripping with gold 'Ranger's FC' jewlery (fake) & a voice that could pierce steel at 1000 yards!
    One thing that makes me cringe over here is the slag's potter around in their P.J's all day,even going to the shops still in their nightclothes! 8O
    Mind you,Being a lazy,dole scrounging loser & not having any reason to get drssed for might have something to do with it!