Help me, Im bored.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Bandalong, May 9, 2008.

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  1. I can’t go out for a while as I am under orders from “her” to be a "good dad" which is fair enough.

    I can’t fight with the neighbours anymore as they are all well used to it and won’t come out to play anymore.

    Its 01:30 and I am bored to death. What can I do?

    Obviously tugging off over internet porn comes to mind but was wondering if any more original suggestions were available?
  2. kill yourself and film it
  3. Why does your wife want you to be her daddy? Some chaps would pay a fortune for that. :wink:
  5. Look, you just can't beat a classic formula. Just you wait until you're too old to get a stuffy - you'll regret not taking the opportunity to give your prostate a test-drive.
  6. Tamper with your children.

    You've killed two birds with one stone.

    1. You've been a good dad and kept the trout happy.
    2. You've reduced your own boredom by squirting your load up your kids.
  7. :lol: I wish I hadn't read that.... I'm starting to laugh at things that I shouldn't...... I think I'm going to hell one day. 8O
  8. That suggestion makes me gag.

    Have you any idea how ugly my kids are?

    Actually things are looking up a bit. The Sister in Law just popped in and is a bit tipsy and I intend to be my charming self and regale her with tales of past heroics etc (just after I have drugged the wife into unconsciousness).
  9. Suprise sex with the sis in law?

    Maybe try and get her and your doris to clam joust.

    I supose doing the Austrian technique with your kids has its benifits.

    Get your sprogs up the duff to produce an almost indefinate supply of mobile wank socks for the rest of your life. Plus you dont have to buy them cars or take the fuckers shopping just to empty your pods.

    Your kids are ugly you say? If you have a dog, you could let that shag them. That in itself should be enough to get you aroused.
  10. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    You could always try on the wifes clothes & thrap off at various key locations around the house....
  11. You Sir are a man after my own heart.

    No joy with the dog, but I had a monkey once but as stated in another thread he got shot.

    Bugger the missus and her rules! I’m al fired up on cheap beer and what passes for wine and shall henceforth go for a full time afternoon sesh tomorrow (today?) and upoun completion I intend to purchase a huge feck off Parrot or a Sloth.
  12. Remember the last time you told her best friend you loved her. Ring her up and do it again.

    A box of Black Magic and a flagon of Bulmers should crack it ,avec;

    In your best 'Arfur Mullard' voice, " Hello darlin, fancy one in the dirt"?
  13. Im of to my pit now where I hopefully wont swamp it.