Right, there's a pack of cnuts living near me. An indeterminate number of young blokes of the studenty persuasion are sharing a house. I'm not sure how many there are as there is a lot of coming and going, usually in the early hours of the morning. These cnuts make a lot of noise in the street and play loud music at various times during the day and night. If they were lumpen chav scum I would already be arranging to communicate with them in the only language they understand, but I suspect that they are not really bad lads. What they are is young and thoughtless and a bit selfish; middle class kids whose childhood is being extended into their twenties by gap years and Uni. I can pick up the phone and arrange for a car load of thugs to go round and intimidate them, or even ambush them myself, but I prefer to save that as an absolute last resort. Politely asking them to be quiet is pointless as any good resolutions they might have will be forgotten an hour later. One of them left a mountain bike chained up outside last night, I have just smeared anti climb paint over the seat and pedals. Its black and very sticky and I doubt if he'll see it before he sits on it. He won't get it out of his keks and will look like he shat himself. I've a funny feeling that their wheelie bin will catch fire tonight and their locks may also be superglued. If I can find a convenient water source I might run a garden hose through their letterbox. My intention is to systematically harass these cnuts until they change their ways or fcuk off. Everything I do must be unattributable to me and, at this stage at least, any violence must be against property only. All ideas welcome; especially funny, depraved or bizarre ones.