Help! I need ideas for a pressie PLEASE :)

Discussion in 'The Other Half' started by NikNik, Jun 27, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. :D

    Hmmmm, so the other half is about to finish his Tiffy course and I feel compelled to buy him something. Thought about getting him a lifetimes supply of FHM, but he'd only stack them up in the bog. Then considered a night with an extremely sexy lady, but he'd only turn her down cos he knows I'm better (Ahem honest!). Next I had the idea of booking us a dirty weekend somewhere, but why pay for it when I can do what I wanna do in my own back garden and pee the neighbours off at the same time??!!!

    So, short of buying him the usual boring army related junk, REME tie pin, tankard or cufflinks (which he has already), I'm stumped so would be grateful of any ideas. Oh, and before anyone suggests it, I already thought about buying him a transfer out of REME, but I don't think anyone else would have him!!

    Sorry my first post is a bit of a let down but I just know one of you intelligent clever ARRSE's will be able to inspire me!

    Thank you :wink:
     
  2. What about a gold pocket watch to wear with his mess dress? Have it engraved with something nice. Bob's your uncle. Job done!
     
  3. Yeah, I thought about a pocket watch and I've been looking, but I'm thinking he would prefer a REME one............if they do one? I have no idea where I would even start looking though :(
     
  4. Why not buy him a grand piano, then drop it on him from a C-130 for being in a puffy Corps?

    Alternatively arrange for a banjo quartet to come and serenade him while you blow his legs up...... imagine his surprise as he approaches the vinger stroke and the banjo players begin beat him about hte face and neck with thier instruments :D

    Hope this helps
     
  5. Arrse tie AND fluffy handcuffs. He then has the choice. :wink:
     
  6. MDN I love your idea............only drawback is I would get jealous if he's the only one being beaten with an instrument.

    Back to the thinking please Mighty :)
     
  7. Try the REME Corps shop. Not sure how to contact them but I'd imagine they're in Bordon.

    Good effort doh nut! Maybe he's in a poofy corps (unless you mean that REME are over inflated)?
     
  8. Say it with porn buy him a hard to get continental rare collectors mag.
    “Disabled black pregnant Jewish lesbians dog lovers weakly” is very good and the Jun 1994 is particularly rare and probably worth a bob or two.
     
  9. Buy him a vowel Richard Whiteley doesn't need one anymore. 8O
     
  10. Give him all he wants...

    Rim him till he bleeds - let him stab the rusty starfish till it bleeds then nosh the manhood till that bleeds.

    or take him out for a nice meal with a few kisses after.
     
  11. I just did a search on the net but it looks like its rarer than you made out. Probably for the best anyway, he's not really into Jewish birds. I'm now looking for 'Disabled, wart infested black pregnant lesbian dog lovers weekly' now. Can't spend too much time on it though so if amazon don't have it, he's getting the pocket watch.
     
  12. Another good idea, but I wanted to do something special for him, not something he's used to on a regular basis, so the *******, starfish poking and noshing is out. The meals a boring idea but maybe we could combine the 2 and nosh, poke and rim in the local Indian??? Would be a cheap alternative too...........10 squids for a 3 course meal!
     
  13. So you hate Jews you anti Semitic fu*k perhaps a Nazi dress uniform and portable gas chamber would be more your thing.
     
  14. And funny enough GG has one on ebay at the moment. :D

    Beebs ;)
     
  15. Buy him a real woman who has an imagination.