Help - employing a French bloke

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by sandy_boots, Jun 24, 2007.

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  1. I'm am about to employ a French student for the summer. I have a good stock of "anti" French one-liners, but this chap was with us last year so he's heard them all. Despite the abuse he suffered last year he wants to come back as we're only 15 mins from Snowdonia and we have some fine crags (E9s) 5 minutes walk from my front door.

    He's just done his first year at Ecole Militaire Saint Cyr. His father retired last year as a Lt General and his elder brother is an armoured corps Capt on ops in Chad at the moment.

    Examples of the kind of comment I'm looking for (these may be old but the French havn't heard them):

    What's the difference between the French and toast? - you can make soldiers out of toast.

    How can you identify a French infantryman? Sunburned armpits.

    Why are all the roads in France lined with trees? Because the German army prefers to march in the shade.

    Put your hand up if you like the French, put both hands up if you are French.
  2. just shoot the frog and stop wasting your time.
  3. You could always show him the old Google French Military Victories search, Choose the Web option and hit i'm feeling lucky.

    It's an old one but still amuses!

    I'm sure you've seen it before though.
  4. I've done all the old chestnuts - need some new material.
  5. I dont think there is any new material. We use all the old material to scare the feckers back off to frogland.
  6. Heres one for you.
    Something you'll never hear a french man say. " Well it seemed hopeless, but we kept on fighting"
  7. Just tell him that he's fired for being french, the commission for racial equality will understand as none of them are french.... snail eating Tw@t
  8. Unless of course he'd been at Dien Bien Phu
  9. Send him to Blenheim Palace via Waterloo Station and Trafalgar Square..... heh heh!

  10. Many (German) Foreign Legionnaires there, I've heard.

    You could remind him of the standard of the French Line Infantry - a white cross on a a white background, or get the odd casual one into conversation: "Man, I was shaking like a French soldier..."

    The old ones are the best.
  11. Swiss/French Army knife:

    Attached Files:

  12. Latest news regarding terrorism in France :-

    Be aware that the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from Run to Hide.

    The only two higher levels in France are Surrender and Collaborate.

    The Rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing their military.
  13. Remind him that the Battle of Waterloo was lost on the playing fields of Ecole Militaire Saint Cyr