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Hello chaps

#1
Here we go then, I finally signed up to Arrse.

The "welcome to arrse" email suggested posting in the "I'm a new member" thread but as I only really read the naafi bar stuff I figured I'd just let you lot have at me and be done with it!

Been lurking for a while and really like the place.

Bit about me so you know what to shout at........

Biological father was RAF and stationed in Germany, mother popped out to visit and I popped out while she was there.

They split when I was about 5-6 yrs old, I recall him taking us to Wales on the odd holiday on his Daytona/sidecar combo but that's about all. Last time I saw him was him riding away and I don't know (or care) to this day what happened to him from then on.

1st Step-father was a cnut, coach driver and as wishy washy as a bloke could get without a sex change.

2nd step-father was ex-army, totally different deal, he was a bit of a twat in some ways but he taught me my work/life ethic.

I have always got on with my work in the way the old man (that's 2nd step-father for the slow ones) worked, work hard, play hard and get it done.

You can now all tell me to fuck off, call me a cnut or a walt or whatever and I will just laugh. You cnut's should be on TV, I can't recall how many times I have sat in the office laughing at threads on here when I should be working!

And the final point before you need to ask....... No, I never did serve and I regret that massively, I'd have been a decent soldier I think, but at the time I didn't think I'd hack it! I'm too old now but fuck it, at least I can support H4H and (if you'll allow me) shoot some shit with you cnuts!

Fire at wll!
 
#6
Father was RAF "snigger", they are all screaming homs, he probably fucked off with his boyfriend. Your real father was one of your mums clients.
 
S

syledis

Guest
#7
Dont mind Seagull or Uktap, they were never hugged enough as children.

Is your wife or girlfriend in any way attractive?
 
#12
I won't tell you to fuck off, call you a cunt or a walt.

Your mum is a slag though.

Welcome to Arrse.
Indeed she was! Fuck knows how many "uncles" I had between the marriages?

And UKTAP I noted this on the front page of the forum The aim of ARRSE (in so far that it has one) is to provide a useful(ish), informative and amusing site for people with an interest in the British Army.

I have an interest in the British Army in that I am protected and have respect for same, therefore I qualify according to the above quote.

I am a civvy cunt, I am a bigger cunt for not having served but it's too late for me to square that away now!
 
#16
Indeed she was! Fuck knows how many "uncles" I had between the marriages?

And UKTAP I noted this on the front page of the forum The aim of ARRSE (in so far that it has one) is to provide a useful(ish), informative and amusing site for people with an interest in the British Army.

I have an interest in the British Army in that I am protected and have respect for same, therefore I qualify according to the above quote.

I am a civvy cunt, I am a bigger cunt for not having served but it's too late for me to square that away now!
It's all right mate, you'll fit right in here. I'm the only actual serving soldier on this site.
 
#19
Here we go then, I finally signed up to Arrse.

The "welcome to arrse" email suggested posting in the "I'm a new member" thread but as I only really read the naafi bar stuff I figured I'd just let you lot have at me and be done with it!

Been lurking for a while and really like the place.

Bit about me so you know what to shout at........

Biological father was RAF and stationed in Germany, mother popped out to visit and I popped out while she was there.

They split when I was about 5-6 yrs old, I recall him taking us to Wales on the odd holiday on his Daytona/sidecar combo but that's about all. Last time I saw him was him riding away and I don't know (or care) to this day what happened to him from then on.

1st Step-father was a cnut, coach driver and as wishy washy as a bloke could get without a sex change.

2nd step-father was ex-army, totally different deal, he was a bit of a twat in some ways but he taught me my work/life ethic.

I have always got on with my work in the way the old man (that's 2nd step-father for the slow ones) worked, work hard, play hard and get it done.

You can now all tell me to fuck off, call me a cnut or a walt or whatever and I will just laugh. You cnut's should be on TV, I can't recall how many times I have sat in the office laughing at threads on here when I should be working!

And the final point before you need to ask....... No, I never did serve and I regret that massively, I'd have been a decent soldier I think, but at the time I didn't think I'd hack it! I'm too old now but fuck it, at least I can support H4H and (if you'll allow me) shoot some shit with you cnuts!

Fire at wll!
My Wahmeter just banged straight over to the sockpuppet pin. In fact,the needle bent the fucker.

Not a fucking chance.
 
#20
Bit punchy for a crow with less military experience than Frank Spencer with the weapon handling skills of Michael J Fox.

Cock
The only weapon handling you do is handling tramps cocks with your mouth in a bus stop since you got hoyed out of the Army for stinking of piss and biscuits, you fucking dinosaur.
 

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