Heaven

#1
A man dies and goes to heaven. God tells him there aren't really any rules except don't tread on a duck. God LOVES ducks and if someone treads on one the angels will shackle a hideously ugly (but, obviously, righteous) person to the offender for 1000 years.

The man goes off into heaven and finds there are ducks everywhere. Still, he is really, really careful and manages not to stand on a single one.

Then one day some angels come along and shackle the most fabulously beautiful woman to him. Thinking that it must be his reward for avoiding God's ducks, but not wanting to blow his own trumpet in that regard, he introduces himself to his new companion, saying he had no idea what he had done to deserve this.

The woman eyed him balefully and said," I dunno what you did, but I trod on a duck!"
 
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