Health & Safety gets the better of Royal Marines

Attended a reunion at a certain RM camp on the South Coast and it coincided with the current lads back from a tour in Afghanistan who presented us old farts [A mix of WWII Combined Operations gentlemen thru' conflicts up to recently the retired] with an unofficial screening of footage of them doing the business at the sharp end. I must admit I was amazed that the Sgt Major said that before we could see it he HAD TO [H&S] tell us that the contents we were about to see may traumatise us and if we were uncomforable with that we were to leave the room!!!! WTF?
In this respect I really feel sorry for the guys serving now.
It's the mentality of the examiners that washes down to those that work in H&S IMHO, a few years ago i took the general certificate in H&S through NEBOSH. at the time i was transport manager, the main question (1/4 of marks)on the exam, was explain the H&S problems arising from draining a canal?? WTF!! how many people working for canal draining companies could answer that.
H&S the NEBOSH way is designed to make sure anyone using common sense will fail to their standards.
By the looks of it nothing has changed in 20 odd years
explain the H&S problems arising from draining a canal?? WTF!! how many people working for canal draining companies could answer that.
Were you out of your depth on that one?
Is that the pirates or Marines who had to surrender? :)
Now that was uncalled for. From what I've seen, the RMs are the best of the best. None of this jumping out of parked aircraft onto roll mats. They are the thinking man's soldier and can do no wrong. Bloody good band too.

And no, I'm not Chubb.
Reading the responses to this thread makes me shake my head with a growing sense of disbelief!
If this H&S bollocks is to believed I am amazed any of our troops are allowed to go to Afghanistan, or for that matter any other potential combat Zone! WTF do they say about the dangers of IED's, aimed RPG's or Kalashnikov rounds, surely thats FAR too dangerous? Never mind the risk of heat stroke after a difficult march carrying up to 40 KG's of kit in temperatures in the 40's C heat!
Methinks it's about time to replace the whole H&S bollocks with a MINISTRY OF COMMON SENSE !! :-(
It'll never happen ......... too many jobsworths [keeps the unemployment figures down] and the system needs to placate the touchy-feely, namby-pamby, guardian jobs section reading, liberal, never been in harm's way for the common good .............................. shysters.
The solution!

Dim the lights with full floods on the main arena. Loud music to a heavy drum beat builds up the tension as the Royals descend to the auditorium in the Wickham GP2000 exit the reinforced safety steel cage, hold a piece of rope each and on the command leap backwards as if landing from a height. (It should be noted that since they will be jumping backwards then there must be marshals in hi vis clothing there to ensure that there are no obstructions. All participants must wear the recommended safety spectacles and ear protection to minimum EN352. Before commencement of the display a marshal should address the crowd, pointing out safety measures and recommending ear protection be worn by them also.

Ernest Moss Health & Safety Lecture
Don't forget warnings to epileptics in the crowd that rifle fire might appear to be like a strobe & set off fits or that large bangs can cause those of an incontinent and nervous disposition to papper themselves.
Don't forget warnings to epileptics in the crowd that rifle fire might appear to be like a strobe & set off fits or that large bangs can cause tose of an incontinent and nervus disposition to papper themselves.
I don't know why but I've just had a flashback to a chap in the mess who used to enact "Pensioners on Parade" when the heavy water was flowing. He would turn his chair into a wheelchair and mime drill movements for wheelchairs including March Past in Review Order and just about every turn and manouvre in the book, it still makes me laugh when I think of him pretending to blow on his hands to cool them down after halt, quick march, halt sequence!


Who are these jerk-offs? Honestly, this will just continue until someone states, "Fred Bloggs from H+S says you can't do this."
We have to name these muppets - it's the only way that they can be chased up/harassed/ridiculed in public/flogged (*delete as appropriate **don't delete any) to stop this bs....

Anyone care to do the sleuth work and find out exactly who says it has to be this way? Or is this just the usual shitty british media spinning stuff for the scared mong/mass?
It's our British love of minutiae, of crossing the Ts and dotting the Is. Every other country says "if we follow the basics then it'll be fine". We have to protect against fullscale nuclear meltdown when we just want to poke the fire.

Still, think the Californians have got it worse!
MIT, that made I giggle, I remember seeing it too, pretending to spit on alternate hands, had the Mess in stitches, especially when he kept a straight face throughout, when every other bugger was pissing himself/herself laughing.............Ah! Happy Days. Shit, remember the 'Salute to the Left' he used his left hand to turn each wheel alternately whilst saluting with his right..........fcuk this, I'm off for a lie down!
It's the same mentality that sees squaddies wasting their time at DST Leconfield driving HGVs with civillian instructors, simply so that they can get their 'C' licence and therefore be legal to drive a vehicle that has as about as much in common with a curtain-side truck as Michael Barrymore has with a straight, innocent man...
To be honest this is a bit of a non-story anyway. The Edinburgh Tattoo is run as a limited company with a Board of Directors and staff, and has charitable status. If H&S advice is given they simply could not ignore it - if they did and someone was killed then employees of the tattoo company and the Board could be liable for gross negligence manslaughter. That aside, I was at the tattoo on Friday and the fact that the assaulters abseiled down the castle wall and didn't fast rope in took nothing away from the spectacle. The average civvy in the crowd would not know or indeed have noticed the difference between abseiling and fast ropeing anyway, plus a gantry or crane structure would have had be be brought into what is already a very tight performance area to fast rope from.



The Royal Tournament must have had the H&S people of the day spitting feathers. The gun run, the other navy one where they climbed up that wobbly mast and then blokes abseiling from an hole in the ceiling.......


My OH used to work with a guy who was a qualified climbing instructor. He was allowed to swing around on ropes 40 odd feet off the ground but when climbing three steps up a ladder to put a poster on the wall was told to get down as he wasn't "ladder trained". Mental.
Back in '88-89 the booties did exactly the same and on the last night one of the jocks absailed down with them in full No 2 Dress, Kilt an all, and Brogues aint exactly made for absailing !!, Also an arty lad got his leg broken when brining the gun into action. No H&S that night eh!!

Bad drills would be the cause and not a H&S bod!

Load of clipboard carrying *********!!.

At work we were told that "you can't go round the back to open the doors on the trailers" ok professor how do you get the load off if you can't go round to open the door's then!!.

Care to share the full context of what was said and why? Would your yard be on a slope perchance and/or the wagon not secured, ie. a chock under a wheel and the engine turned off?
I actually watched a bootie fast rope out of a Westland Wessex at a show in Hillingdon back in the eighties and he did have an accident hitting the ground flat on his back and bouncing back up into the air about six inches or so. They put a collar on him and stretchered him off and the show went on. He must have been ok because we never heard anything else. It's not just health & safety these days though. There are in slightly more modern times, different matters to take into account now. One of the big influences on what happens at these show's nowdays is dictated by the insurance companies.

To give an example, at the same show in later years, I was the responsible officer who organised a local authority marquee demonstrating all the various activities that we as a Council provided. We had a cherrypicker there and one of the public asked if he could go up in it. We couldn't see any harm in it. Our operatives were fully qualified etc and so we agreed to the request. Before you knew it, there was an enormous line of people queing up to have a look at the show from 70 or 80 feet up in the air. It added to a very successful show for us in terms of people having some fun with our equipment.

The following year, we went again but in prior discussions with our insurers, we mentioned that we wanted once again to use our fully qualified staff and our modern well maintained cherrypicker vehicle, you know the one with all the safety mechanisms, to once again give rides to the public and we were told they wouldn't insure us. So, the cherrypicker sat there and any requests for a ride had to be denied. It made us look like we couldn't be bothered to offer the public a bit of fun when we were more than happy to do it but the insurers were the actual killjoys.

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