Headlines that delight or enrage.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by lsquared, Jan 31, 2011.

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  1. Today's headline that caught my eye and delighted me past the point of ecstasy, was:

    'Dismissal threat for 'quango queen'.'

    This refers to a top public school educated champagne socialist, Suzi Leather, appointed by the Labour twerps to hound private schools into oblivion. This is in line with the socialist doctrine that in educational matters all should be taught to the same abysmally awful level - except of course, the offspring of the Party faithful.

    Can 'ashie' or maybe 'Sven', explain why no Labour politician ever aims to RAISE State school standards up to those of Eton or Westminster, rather than to lower all standards to the frightful levels pertaining in so many, if not all, State schools.

    My theory is that the socialists, especially the public-school educated types - Harman, Balls and many others - adhere to a doctrine that is to deny education to the masses and to stamp out initiative and enterprise. Semi literate and barely numerate masses, suborned by 'benefits', and hugely encouraged to 'vote Labour', are unlikely to form a meaningful opposition to the ruling Praesidium and the Politburo.
  2. There was a story some time ago about a agrarian with a hobby of taxidermy caught smuggling illicit sleepwear into Tibet.

    Headline: Embalmer Farmer in Lama Pajama Drama!

    or wasn't that what you mean?

    Anybody got any others?
  3. Years ago, Private Eye (I think) did a headline about a Librarian's strike in Essex. It read "Book lack in Ongar".
  4. A few years ago a crime was reported in the States as. " Headless Body Found In Topless Bar "
  5. Window-cleaner Killed By Giant Pencil.

    He was in a flat by himself stabbing his own leg repeatedly with a novelty giant pencil his mum got on holiday while she was alive.
  6. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    Off at a slight tangent but here's a fairly mundane headline with a fantastic photograph:

  7. I'd be delighted by any headline that contained the words Blairs, mob, rampaging, lamppost, sharp, bludgeoned and the phrase 'several hours to die'.
  8. Can't remember if it's an urban legend or not, but "Nut screws washer and bolts"
  9. Blackburn, escaped out of the (Queens Hospital) Psychaiatric hospital. Allegedly.

    "In Kit Carson, California, a rector who had been accused of fire-raising was freed on a technicality. He was found just three hours later setting fire to the courthouse.

    Headline: "Carson Parson Arson Farce."

    Or have I still not got the idea?

    Oh yes, I forgot, he was called Blair and he is now on death row with only hours to live. (Just to keep smartas happy)
  10. Thatcher started the dismantling/dumbing down of state education with GCSE's. New Labour just carried on where Major left off. Nice blinkers/short memory you've got there.

    Anyway-my favourite is:

    "Super Cally Go Ballistic As Celtic Are Atrocious." I don't like footy but it made me laugh........
  11. I don't think you quite got across exactly what your post title meant. ;-)
  12. The US entertainment newspaper Variety has quite a reputation for this I believe. Perhaps the most famous refers to the lack of popularity of films featuring rustic characters in rural areas:

  13. I acknowledge 'TwentyBandH's' point about my initial post - I do get deranged when I consider the millionaire 'socialists' denying opportunities to everyone because they adhere to a nonsensical doctrine and dogma.

    1 February 2011. 'Don't forget victims of Labour's fashionable wars, says colonel.

    A couple of most excellent points made by Colonel Collins, that will be ignored by our government. An awful statistic quoted: "....of the 220,000 service personnel who have seen active service in either Aghanistan or Iraq, 28,000 now suffer from alcohol or mental health issues". Is this true?
  14. I hark back to a simpler time when tories knew there worth and intellect [​IMG]-