He Who Dares Wins (the points)

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by error_unknown, Sep 17, 2004.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Dares at work...

    For one point...

    (1) Run one lap around the mess at top speed.
    (2) Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other 'non-player' must be in the toilet at the time).
    (3) Ignore the first five people who say "good morning" to you.
    (4) Phone someone at work you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
    (5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
    (6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmm, that feels sooooooo good!"
    (7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
    (8.) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
    (9) While riding in the lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    Three Point Dares

    (1) Say to a superior, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
    (2) Babble incoherently at a colleague then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
    (3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
    (4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
    (5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    Five Point Dares

    (1) At the end of a briefing suggest that, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). :lol:
    (2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing frustration, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
    (3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".
    (4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two."
    (5) After every sentence say "mon" in a rally bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
    (6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
    (7) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
    (8)At lunchtime get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
    (9) On an office notice board write: "10 am - See how I look in tights".
    (10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
    (11) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:"Do you hear that? "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
    (12) Come to work in SAS style black and when asked why say, "I can't talk about it." (13) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
    (14) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig etc) during a very important conference call.
    (15) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
    (16) Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
    (17) Present those at the next briefing with a cup of coffee and jammy dodger biscuit each.
    (1 During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
    (19) Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts. :lol:
  2. kin outstanding, isuppose a six pointer would be actually admitting as to why your firm binned you? :D :lol:
  3. You must be gutted that they're letting all thoseCiv Serv't jobs go!!! What next, join the firebrigade??
  4. im not a snivil servant gov, although am involved in a MoD fiscal mess :cry:
  5. Yes they fcuk my pay up as well.