• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

He is really a Cnut though.

#1
A little old lady bought an old oil lamp from a bring and buy sale. When she got it home, she was giving it a good buff up and Poof, a little man appeared in a puff of smoke. "Fuckin' hell!" she exclaims. The little guy says. "Don't be alarmed, I'm a genie and you can have three wishes."
"Yeah, right, if that's true, make me twenty one years old again." the cynical old girl says.
Poof..and she suddenly feels amazingly vital. She rushes over to the mirror and sees that it's true, she's twenty one again.
She turns to the genie, hugs him and says. "I'd love to be a millionaire, now that I'm young and can enjoy life again."
A puff of smoke and on the table was her bank statement, showing millions of pounds of credit.
Right, she says. "By the time I was twenty one, I'd been fucked by so many, I had a really slack fanny. So, for my last wish..I'd like to have a really tight cunt. There came another puff of smoke and....There stood Gordon Brown.

Gordon Brown was having his half yearly medical check up. The Doc asked him if he was having any problems.
Gordon replied. "Well, it's odd, but every time I look into a mirror, I get an erection."
The Doc replied. "I'm not surprised..You're a cunt."
 

Latest Threads