He is on Det and his room needs 'sorting'

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mr_C_Hinecap, Jul 21, 2004.

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  1. Another site I contribute to has a question posted on it.

    "One of my coursemates has gone away for a quick break with his girlfriend and has foolishly failed to ensure the security of his room. Now, obviously he needs punishing for this school boy error and so I thought I would seek the advice of the old and bold"

    Now......you lot are evil. In a good way - mostly. Any tried and tested japes out there?? Please share.
  2. Move everything out of his room and transport some suitable alternative in its place. Broom cupboards etc.

    Tame but a starter for 10.
  3. If the carpet is the normal short pile army type, pour a great deal of water all over it, and liberally sprinkle cress seeds over the carpet, works a treat.

    You could also make his pit into a rockery complete with several tonnes of earth, shrubs and hardy perienniels.

    Or take pictures with his camera of yourselves skiffing items such as his toothbrush. It will make for a nice surprise when he gets the film developed/downloads the piccies.

  4. put a thin layer of shower gel in the bottom of his kettle , instant mad dog once boiling.

    and if his room is "south facing" curl one out on his windowsill , it will be petrified and welded to the ledge by the time he gets back.

    or simply change the lock in his door with yours (get a key first obviously) then do the "matey" thing and lock his room for him. :wink:
  5. write expletives or some other description/picture on his duvet in toothpaste and leave it to dry...............when he comes to wash it..................the message will be bleached in permanently

    Inject milk into his chair/duvet

    Put some bits of kipper into the bottom of the curtains or under the carpet

    :twisted: :twisted: 8O :wink:
  6. ooh ooh ooh .... forgot this one , same as toothpaste on duvet , but immac on his carpet , first time he hoovers your handiwork is revealed.

    is there a sink in his room..... that could lead to endless possibilities

    take off the u bend DRY THOROUGHLY
    fill u bend with bicarb of soda
    wait for victims first use of sink.
  7. Or put immac or manfat in his shampoo/showergel ................and get all his mates to regularly swamp in his sink :twisted:
  8. Get some nice ripe Stilton and push it into the small gaps around the door, skirting board etc. Just pretend you're using Pollyfilla. Stink should last a couple of centuries or so!

    Beef :lol:
  9. superglue everything down. Books, lamps, any remaining bits of wash kit, coat hangers to the rail etc.
  10. An oldie but goodie: curl one out in his respirator.
  11. A couple of things that we used to do at uni were to give the said fellow's desk a good polishing with crab paste, it is virtually impossible to detect the source of the smell but believe me it really stinks! You could also go for something called 'orange life'. This involves buying sh@t loads of oranges and putting them absolutely everywhere in his room (in socks, drawers, peel inside books, shoes, speakers etc...), after he has found the obvious ones he thinks he has it cracked, but keeps finding oranges for weeks. The simplest we used to do, and the most annoying, was simply to disassemble the bed and hide the pieces all over the place. Then when he comes home late one night, nowhere to sleep!! I will have to bow down to boney_m's idea though, saw it done once and it is an absolute classic!!!
  12. Douse his gaff in petrol and spark it up. He'll be speechless.
  13. badass , you subtle f*cker !!!!!
  14. [​IMG]

    If he has a modern single man room with bog/shower built in ......carefully dismantle a powder fire extinguisher and take the rubber tube out of the middle wihich should be full of the type of powder that triples volume on contact with water................rig up a simple safety pin trigger under the ball cock in the cistern so that the first time he has a dump when he gets back hes flooded out of his room......................seen it done and I nearly had a hernia laughing. :twisted: :D :lol:
  15. If he has a shower get the teabag treatment going, just make sure the shower head is dry first.