Have you ever shagged a bird that squirts?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rod924, Jul 15, 2005.

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  1. Rod924

    Rod924 LE Reviewer

    I have, I am pleased to say. BUT! The selfish bitch never told me that she did

    To explain. After an evening necking red back at my place and, after many pints at the pub first, may I add, I decided to get the bint in the sack by cunningly guiding her to my master bedroom. The passion was high and I had drunk from the furry love cup for exactly 16 minutes (I always time it in my head) she was now soaking enough to receive my length of manhood.

    She was gagging for it and was acting like a woman who is being rooted from behind when her partner grabs her by the tits and shouts out her sisters name. The passion was so hot, that when she expoded vocally, there was no fucking chance of me de-activating my MLRS (Multiple Launch Rocket System).

    All felt fine and there was no inclination at that time that this women had performed an act of greatness, as once I rolled off, I was on the beach, and I do mean beach! It was only after she had gone home and I retired that I discovered what I had missed. I always stretch out during slumber to find new cooler parts and on this night, I found I was fucking treading water! Further down the matress, the Crosby RNLI had been called out. I kid you not.

    I never banged her again as I felt cheated as not being fore warned so I could protect the bed and get visual.

    Anyone else been with a squiter/gusher?
  2. If you don't need to change the sheets after the act, then you're not doing it right.

    Well those are my standards, and I'm sticking to them.
  3. here here listy!
  4. General Melchett

    General Melchett LE Moderator

    Rod924. You lucky lucky barsteward.
  5. Are you sure that she wasnt just incontinent? did she have a blue-rinse and a tartan shopping trolley? :wink:
  6. 307

    307 War Hero

    I have once, not very much but enough to be the stymulus of much personal entertainment. She was a dirty dirty bitch though....I loved her!
  7. Rather strange timing for this thread as it happened to me last night. She didn't warn me that she could and suddenly found myself drowning. Once I got used to it and cracked on, turned out to be one hell of a turn on!!!!!!
  8. I have the deepest sympathy, i am truly moved by your plight ............... 8)
  9. Yes and she convulsed when she came....found out later she was epileptic 8O
  10. Sorry, but I think her bag burst. Ena Sharpels Uggggh!!!!
  11. Rod924

    Rod924 LE Reviewer

    The thought of incontinence did strike fear in my mind on discovery of a lagoon at c 0420hrs, instead of cool linen on slumberlands best. And to be blunt, I was also going to storm round to her house, gain entry, and swamp her settee whilst she was making tea!

    However, after regaining my breath on reaching dry slumberland, it dawned on me exactly what was the cause, and I must say, a rather perverse grin appeared across my fizzog followed by the words 'back of the net' :D

    However, that still does not detract from my earlier statement, being that the selfish fcuker should have screamed at me in order for visual
  12. Thanks sweetheart

    I have to say that my ears are hurting this morning from being clamped between a pair of decently toned feminine thighs
  13. :lol: i have to say though it IS a poor show, a timely reminder of why i switched sides....... more effort needed :wink:
  14. :lol: i have to say though it IS a poor show, a timely reminder of why i switched sides....... more effort needed :wink:[/quote]

    Right, note to self - more effort required. In my defence, even I get a trifle bored of muff diving after 4 1/2 hours of it. :wink:

    I have to say though, Richmond Green will never seem the same again 8O
  15. When I was 18 I was seeing a stunning 17yr old virgin.
    Needless to say I gave her a damn good education, and I’m proud to say she came like a bucket. I have never met a girl who had a talent for destroying my sheets as much as her.

    Another ex of mine once bled all over my sheets after a night of bouncy-bouncy, we never did work out why, it wasn’t her time of the month and I didn’t put to much effort into it…..odd.

    Chap I used to work with claimed he could make his girlfriend p1ss herself after shagging her a certain way.