I know that it seems to be a pretty awful thing to ask, but I just thought I'd put my bid in here. Is it one of the true taboos or is it alright to punch your mum full in the face? I'm not saying I make a habit of it, or that I condone daily violence towards female parents, but now and again, my mum has annoyed me to the point where the only course of action open to me, is to smite her with a teeth shattering blow. Most recently, I went round there for a cup of tea, en route to going out for a nice walk in the Peak District. I was in a good mood. The weather was nice, my phone was off and I had fick alles to do for the whole afternoon. She got the brews on and offered me a biscuit from the tin that has served that purpose since I was a kid. I rummaged around, but after a few seconds realised that she was out of Jaffa cakes. "Where are the Jaffa Cakes, mum" I asked, calmly, but with a growing sense that I was about to lose it. "Oh, thanks for reminding me, son. I need to stick them on my list and get some tomorrow." I almost chuckled at the fact that she had no idea how angry I was. Before she had time to suggest another biscuit, I delivered a full punch to the face that any domestic abuse instructor would have been proud of. I leant so far back to deliver the pagger, I looked a bit like Keanu Reeves when he's dodging the bullets in The Matrix. When it landed, her hair shot out in all directions, creating a temporary Brian May effect. Of course, being an old lady, she dropped fairly sharpish. I returned to a neutral corner of her living room and waited for her to get back up. It was a fairly good clobber, her bugle being liberally spread round the rest of her face. She eventually managed to stagger into her comfy chair, as I shadow boxed near the telly. I let myself out, pausing to waggle my index finger at her, with the words 'Think on, mum' I think you'll agree that the circumstances were exceptional. I just wondered if any other Longdoners had finally cracked under parental pressure and punched their mothers full in the face. Backhanders, raised hand 'Gertchas' and kicks to the lower extremities don't count. Just full on clatters to the coupon please. Kudos prizes for the best example of the most innocuous 'provocation' that lead to a subsequent battering.