Have you ever been in a Jack wagon?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by regular_imbiber, Jun 8, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. And I dont mean as the driver :-D

    I have; only the once but it will live with me forever.

    Had blisters all over ma tootsies while doing the first ever JMC in Kosovo (I'm RLC incidentally) and whilst tabbing/hobbling around south of Pristina the SI,a CSgt from the RM,shouted me over and said "In the wagon young 'un..."

    The rest of the conversation went something like this:

    Me: "But Colours,I'm alright, its ok, I'll crack on.."

    CSgt: "Shut up and get in the fucking wagon."

    Me,near to tears: "Colours, I dont want to,Ive never been in one in ma puff.I dont want marked down, theres not long to go anyway."

    CSgt: "Look, you daft cunt;the command tasks start in 2 days and if you cant fucking walk you cant do it so you'll get fucking binned.Just get in the fucking wagon and get prepped for your command task.This doesnt affect anything."

    Me,unconvinced: "Are you sure Colours? Its the jack wagon...."

    CSgt: "For fuck's sake,Ive just fucking told you. Now get in"

    I then climbed in, a dejected and brow-beaten figure.

    Never been in one since,mind :)
  2. Again only the once but that was when I was bitten by a fecking huge dog while in the middle of a CFT.

    Some clearly insane boxhead was taking their pet wolf for a drag through the woods and on spotting us lot wandering past it decided to try and eat us all. Despite the whole squad bomb bursting with roughy tuffty manly cries of "Get the fucking thing away from me" and "Arrgh help help" it still chased after us and managed to bite at least 3 or 4 guys me included in the calves/ankles.

    I think the manky cur probably had Elboarabies or something.

    That was the only time though.
  3. Been in the cripple cart a few times. Mainly due to injuries; but once due to the combination of a fearsome hangover and an unexpectedly hot day. Puking green bile and mumbling incoherently as I was dragged round the training area, then suddenly shitting brown liquid into my lightweights and falling down didn't endear me to the PT staff. My insistence that I'd been watching TV in the block all night and had food poisoning from the Cookhouse, didn't survive an examination of the Guardroom log that showed me booking back into camp at 4AM. I was severely punished over the following week. Live and learn......
  4. Used to be based in the same Camp as 4 ADFA, they used to leave their 432's unlocked,
    great place for a skive and a quick kip, that's the only time.
  5. NO, but as i was in the Cavalry,you would hardly expect us to jack it,unlike your mere mortals.
  6. No need to thank me ;-)
  7. Your here all week arent you ?
  8. jim24

    jim24 Book Reviewer

    No but I was in the Cavalry, we let our helicopters take all the pain
  9. Nope, never. Only once had a biff chit and once off sick (normally get crook at weekends - bad drills). That said, I’ve been pretty ineffective on a number of occasions at work owing to being shitfaced the day after.
  10. Oh yes! :-D
  11. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    No thanks needed for me either.
  12. Quite in the Typists pool there!
  13. I ended up in the jack wagon once, due to my badmin on that particular day.
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Shush, I am just about to start my nails.
  15. Shush, we're still talking about you.