Have we been invaded by the frogs?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Jun 15, 2010.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Last night I was caught up in some awful traffic along the Embankment by Chelsea Old Church. As I got closer to the cause of this congestion, I expected to see a crash of some sort or at the very least a badly injured bicyclist as reward for being made to sit behind a skip lorry for 45 minutes.

    But no. It was the fucking French. There on Chelsea Embankment at around 1800 last night was a column of around 10 of those shitty little French 4x4s, you know the ones that the Italians and Belgians also use*? I didn't catch their cap badge but needless to say it was huge and worn on a ridiculously shaped, left handed beret. There also appeared to be some sort of Frog RSM attempting to direct the traffic around the column and failing miserably.

    I'm assuming this is the first wave of things to come, keep on your guard fellow Londoners. Watch out for anyone driving a Citroen or Peugeot, be wary of people in stripy t-shirts and don't eat any onions. I've got a dodgy feeling about this.

    Anyone got any sensible reasons why a unescorted convoy of Frog soldiers would be driving through Chelsea on a Monday evening?

    *Like these:
  2. Alsacien

    Alsacien LE Moderator

    Poor map reading skills :?
  3. The Germans have probably made an appearance in France again.
  4. Are there are any Panzers crossing the Belgian border, by any chance?

    Did they hear that the Guards were beating the retreat and panic?

    Just a thought.
  5. They were looking for someone to surrender to? You shold have done the gentlemanly thing and accepted their surrender. We could have had them sorting my garden out today.
  6. Why, have you got a snail plague?
  7. Nah. All me frogs died when the pond in me garden froze over for several days during the winter. HiD had hysrterics when she found them all frozen to the underside of the ice. So they need replacing.
  8. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    If you move quickly they might still be loafing on the Embankment. I have a big net and some garlic which we could use to attract them.

    There was even a lady frog there as well. Presumably for mating purposes.
  9. I've got several million cane toads you can have, free of charge. They're good for poisoning cats, too.
  10. Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

    London Calling

    ps edited to add I was surprised to see the French Army driving round Paris in locally registered Defenders last night
  11. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I'm sorry how the fuck do you expect anyone to read that? It appears to have been written by either an ancient Egyptian scribe or a chav with a Nokia.

    Either way it's a weird illegible scrawl. :)
  12. Sounds like a plan! Bags I the frogette :)
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Bagsy I get the RSM's hat and one of those wanky little cars. Is it just me or do they look like the windscreens are held on with cable ties?
  14. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I heard one of them talking about a 'Burm' over and over again, I thought this meant he wanted to engage in anal sex though so I ran away.
  15. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    Why are they 'celebrating' De Gaulle's appeal to the defeated and demoralised French on 18th June 1940, whern they should be celebrating a rather more important anniversary on the same day.....

    I do hope that the French Army will parade, via Trafalgar Square, possibly going on a long route via Maida Vale and ending up on Platform 1 of Waterloo Station where they can get a train to Newhaven, changing at Clapham, and thence to the Ferry and France :)