Have we been invaded by the frogs?

Ravers

LE
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#1
Last night I was caught up in some awful traffic along the Embankment by Chelsea Old Church. As I got closer to the cause of this congestion, I expected to see a crash of some sort or at the very least a badly injured bicyclist as reward for being made to sit behind a skip lorry for 45 minutes.

But no. It was the fucking French. There on Chelsea Embankment at around 1800 last night was a column of around 10 of those shitty little French 4x4s, you know the ones that the Italians and Belgians also use*? I didn't catch their cap badge but needless to say it was huge and worn on a ridiculously shaped, left handed beret. There also appeared to be some sort of Frog RSM attempting to direct the traffic around the column and failing miserably.

I'm assuming this is the first wave of things to come, keep on your guard fellow Londoners. Watch out for anyone driving a Citroen or Peugeot, be wary of people in stripy t-shirts and don't eat any onions. I've got a dodgy feeling about this.

Anyone got any sensible reasons why a unescorted convoy of Frog soldiers would be driving through Chelsea on a Monday evening?

*Like these:
 
#4
Ravers said:
...

I'm assuming this is the first wave of things to come, keep on your guard fellow Londoners. Watch out for anyone driving a Citroen or Peugeot, be wary of people in stripy t-shirts and don't eat any onions. I've got a dodgy feeling about this.

Anyone got any sensible reasons why a unescorted convoy of Frog soldiers would be driving through Chelsea on a Monday evening?
Are there are any Panzers crossing the Belgian border, by any chance?

Did they hear that the Guards were beating the retreat and panic?

Just a thought.
 
#5
They were looking for someone to surrender to? You shold have done the gentlemanly thing and accepted their surrender. We could have had them sorting my garden out today.
 
#7
Nah. All me frogs died when the pond in me garden froze over for several days during the winter. HiD had hysrterics when she found them all frozen to the underside of the ice. So they need replacing.
 

Ravers

LE
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#8
eodmatt said:
Nah. All me frogs died when the pond in me garden froze over for several days during the winter. HiD had hysrterics when she found them all frozen to the underside of the ice. So they need replacing.
If you move quickly they might still be loafing on the Embankment. I have a big net and some garlic which we could use to attract them.

There was even a lady frog there as well. Presumably for mating purposes.
 
#10
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling



ps edited to add I was surprised to see the French Army driving round Paris in locally registered Defenders last night
 

Ravers

LE
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#11
fairmaidofperth said:
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling
I'm sorry how the fuck do you expect anyone to read that? It appears to have been written by either an ancient Egyptian scribe or a chav with a Nokia.

Either way it's a weird illegible scrawl. :)
 
#12
Ravers said:
eodmatt said:
Nah. All me frogs died when the pond in me garden froze over for several days during the winter. HiD had hysrterics when she found them all frozen to the underside of the ice. So they need replacing.
If you move quickly they might still be loafing on the Embankment. I have a big net and some garlic which we could use to attract them.

There was even a lady frog there as well. Presumably for mating purposes.
Sounds like a plan! Bags I the frogette :)
 

Ravers

LE
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Book Reviewer
#13
Bagsy I get the RSM's hat and one of those wanky little cars. Is it just me or do they look like the windscreens are held on with cable ties?
 

Ravers

LE
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#14
Mr_Deputy said:
I saw them. One was having a traffic cone stuck to his nose, a stick shoved up his arrse and a decorated cake tin put on as a hat in order to play the part of De Gaulle. He looked a right tw4t. So did the bloke dressed up as him.

There was one single French MP doubling as EOD there as well in a painters smock he appeared to have bumbled into some kind of a bomb plot.
I heard one of them talking about a 'Burm' over and over again, I thought this meant he wanted to engage in anal sex though so I ran away.
 

OldSnowy

LE
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#15
fairmaidofperth said:
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling

ps edited to add I was surprised to see the French Army driving round Paris in locally registered Defenders last night
Why are they 'celebrating' De Gaulle's appeal to the defeated and demoralised French on 18th June 1940, whern they should be celebrating a rather more important anniversary on the same day.....

I do hope that the French Army will parade, via Trafalgar Square, possibly going on a long route via Maida Vale and ending up on Platform 1 of Waterloo Station where they can get a train to Newhaven, changing at Clapham, and thence to the Ferry and France :)
 
#18
johnboyzzz said:
Ravers said:
fairmaidofperth said:
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling
I'm sorry how the fuck do you expect anyone to read that? It appears to have been written by either an ancient Egyptian scribe or a chav with a Nokia.

Either way it's a weird illegible scrawl. :)

All Greek to me :D

French President Nicolas Sarkozy is to visit the UK on June 18, Downing Street has announced.

Mr Sarkozy is the first foreign leader to be invited on an official visit to Britain by David Cameron since he became Prime Minister.

His visit will mark the 70th anniversary of the appeal issued by General Charles de Gaulle through the BBC to the citizens of Nazi-occupied France in 1940.
Capisce?
 
#19
Ravers said:
fairmaidofperth said:
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling
I'm sorry how the fuck do you expect anyone to read that? It appears to have been written by either an ancient Egyptian scribe or a chav with a Nokia.

Either way it's a weird illegible scrawl. :)
I think it's that gay patois that men who are good with colours use - polinari or something like that? Jules and Sandy of Bona whatever used to use it in 'Round the Horne' on the BBC Light Service (but not, strangely, in 'The Navy Lark').
 
#20
fairmaidofperth said:
johnboyzzz said:
Ravers said:
fairmaidofperth said:
Full scale invasion scheduled for this Friday, the 70th anniversary of the Appel du 18 juin.

London Calling
I'm sorry how the fuck do you expect anyone to read that? It appears to have been written by either an ancient Egyptian scribe or a chav with a Nokia.

Either way it's a weird illegible scrawl. :)

All Greek to me :D

French President Nicolas Sarkozy is to visit the UK on June 18, Downing Street has announced.

Mr Sarkozy is the first foreign leader to be invited on an official visit to Britain by David Cameron since he became Prime Minister.

His visit will mark the 70th anniversary of the appeal issued by General Charles de Gaulle through the BBC to the citizens of Nazi-occupied France in 1940.
Capisce?
Scusi et grazie Dov'è il bagno? :D
 

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