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have i got an STD?

#1
quick qusetion for you guys. i recently had sex with some old bird. now im peeing razor blades and i have a rash on my nob. could this be a dose? proper answers plz.
 
#3
If you're serious, you'd better get down to the modern day equivalent of the clap clinic ASAP ........ they will take swabs ..... you won't get a diagnosis here.
 
#5
Could be balantitis, a urine infection or an STD, either way get it checked out and keep it in the trousers until then! As for the stinging, until then avoid drinking or eating citrus drinks and foods and drink plenty of water to clear the kidneys out.
 
#7
If I were you I'd start stuffing cotton buds down my japs eye now, just to acclimatise myself to the pain.

If you flinch when the Doc does it he'll think you're gay.
 
#8
threaders_vm said:
quick qusetion for you guys. i recently had sex with some old bird. now im peeing razor blades and i have a rash on my nob. could this be a dose? proper answers plz.
How old was she?

Dip your no b in bleach,old squaddie trick,it will smart a little at first though.
 
#9
All of the above, other than no swabs in most clinics now, all urine tests.

Tell me where you are in the world & I will give you the local clinic contact details.
 
#10
I got tested only a couple of years ago - and they did shove stuff down my japs eye... unless that's because it was an Army clinic (Catterick Barracks in Bielefield).

The very first time I had it done, I was made to sit on my hands by the nurse taking the sample... it was that painful I kept trying to pull my trousers up everytime he walked away to do something...
 
#11
I got tested only a couple of years ago - and they did shove stuff down my japs eye... unless that's because it was an Army clinic (Catterick Barracks in Bielefield).

The very first time I had it done, I was made to sit on my hands by the nurse taking the sample... it was that painful I kept trying to pull my trousers up everytime he walked away to do something...
 
#12
Just got asked by my girlfriend "why don't soldeirs wear condoms, considering the types of women they attract"!..

I told her because it would be like going to the cinema wearing sunglasses. : D
 
#13
amazing__lobster said:
I got tested only a couple of years ago - and they did shove stuff down my japs eye... unless that's because it was an Army clinic (Catterick Barracks in Bielefield).

The very first time I had it done, I was made to sit on my hands by the nurse taking the sample... it was that painful I kept trying to pull my trousers up everytime he walked away to do something...
A tubby Irish chap by chance!

If so he just hates Brits.
 
#14
He had a skin head and was there when I first visited the clinic in 1999, and he was there when I went again in 2005. I think he wore glasses, too.

But yep, I did get the impression he hated soldiers... but maybe it was just because I am a Brit!
 
#15
threaders_vm said:
quick qusetion for you guys. i recently had sex with some old bird. now im peeing razor blades and i have a rash on my nob. could this be a dose? proper answers plz.
Sounds like it, yes. Get thee to a clap clinic!
 
#18
threaders_vm said:
quick qusetion for you guys. i recently had sex with some old bird. now im peeing razor blades and i have a rash on my nob. could this be a dose? proper answers plz.
Are you sure she was alive? Might be something necrophilia related!
 

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