HAVE A LAFF THIS AFT!

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Norfolknchance, Apr 18, 2008.

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  1. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
    children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward.
    One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
    down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
    Is it your Easter Dress?'
    The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on
    microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a real bitch to iron.'

    A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
    Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.'
    The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'


    A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
    'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
    'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child
    innocently.
    'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
    'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it
    didn't move'
    "Oh" said the relieved teacher!

    :D :D :D
     
  2. Thats awful go punish yourself. :D
     
  3. Have already taken myself off into a corner and had a titter.
     
  4. Little girl runs out side in to the garden where her Dad is working and says
    "Hey Daddy. Whats Sex?"

    Dad is a mite perplexed at this but decides that it is time for "that talk".

    So he tells her, all of it, leaves nothing out and does a complete and comprehensive job.

    He then aks "What made you ask that question now?"

    Little girl, looking a bit stunned says "Mum said dinner will be ready in a couple of secs!"
     
  5. Ok, if we're on the sad joke run


    Teacher in class, says the the little kiddies

    "right children, who can give me a word starting with A?"

    Johnny is first to put his hand up, but knowing what he's like the teacher decides to pick another child...

    Anne?
    Antelope miss!

    Well done Anne

    Ok how about a word starting with B?

    again Johnny is first, but again the teacher knows what he's like so picks another kid.

    Peter?
    Bat miss!

    Well done Peter

    Right then, what about C?

    Johnny is bursting by now but yet again the teacher is wise to his language and again picks another kid

    Jane?
    Carrot miss!

    Well done Jane

    Ok lets try D

    Johnny is ready again, but this time the teacher thinks for a moment and decides there cant be a swear word that johnny could possibly think of for D, and so says, go on then Johnny

    Johnny replies

    A Dwarf miss

    Well done Johnny says the teacher, feeling quite relieved that he didnt swear.

    Johnny says i havent finished yet!

    Oh? go on then Johnny the teacher replies

    A Dwarf miss, with a huge Co-ck and hairy Boll-ocks, and next time dont be an Cnut and stop me from answering
     
  6. ...and they say blondes are dumb...P.S. they have numbers on the cards above their heads...look up!!! :D
     

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