Hate Fcuks - painful love or just GBH?

#1
Whenever I come back from ops, or any long time away from Mrs Slopes, I'm always slightly apprehensive as night time, and beddy byes, approaches.

This is because Mrs Slopes needs her lovin', but in spite of my best intentions to demonstrate what a gentle and thoughful lover I can be, I end up thrashing her all over the house - visions of burning Vietnamese villages in my head.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I just a victim of too many tours, or am I simply just a mugger with a hardon?

Your thoughts, please?
 
#3
The_Sloping_Wire said:
Whenever I come back from ops, or any long time away from Mrs Slopes, I'm always slightly apprehensive as night time, and beddy byes, approaches.

This is because Mrs Slopes needs her lovin', but in spite of my best intentions to demonstrate what a gentle and thoughful lover I can be, I end up thrashing her all over the house - visions of burning Vietnamese villages in my head.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I just a victim of too many tours, or am I simply just a mugger with a hardon?

Your thoughts, please?
Most of my blokes used to get back from Ops and then give the local pro a good vigorous ragging first to get rid of the frustration so their wives didnt have to walk like john wayne for a few days. That seemed to sort it :wink: out
 
#4
Does Mrs Slopes complain? Maybe she likes her lovin "Tommy Lee" stylee! :D
 
#5
IMO theres nowt wrong with a right good hard seeing too once the fella gets home.
Has Mrs Slopes complained about your rampant advances???
If not, then you must be doing something right :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#6
The_Sloping_Wire said:
, I end up thrashing her all over the house - visions of burning Vietnamese villages in my head.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I just a victim of too many tours, or am I simply just a mugger with a hardon?

Your thoughts, please?
Naaaah, its normal. Whenever I get back after a break, I give Mrs. Slopes a damn messy seeing to.

She loves it.
 
#10
Bravo_Bravo said:
PS you are out of digestives.
C N U T They are mine!!!!! I normally leave you the Chocolate Knobs
 
#11
The_Sloping_Wire said:
Whenever I come back from ops, or any long time away from Mrs Slopes, I'm always slightly apprehensive as night time, and beddy byes, approaches.

This is because Mrs Slopes needs her lovin', but in spite of my best intentions to demonstrate what a gentle and thoughful lover I can be, I end up thrashing her all over the house - visions of burning Vietnamese villages in my head.

Is this normal behaviour? Am I just a victim of too many tours, or am I simply just a mugger with a hardon?

Your thoughts, please?
Just showed this to a (single) friend of mine. She asked for your number. 8O :roll:

My comment: you make it sound like this is the only time Mrs Slopes gets any action. Well, from you anyway... :p
 
#12
Bravo_Bravo said:
PS you are out of digestives.
That's because he was playing soggy biscuit.

I'll GMC!
 
#18
Corporal said:
Biscuits_AB said:
.......your missus. 8)
Bring a chair, the queue is almost as long as the one for your mum. :D
ooooo my a septic with a sense of humour. When were you issued that or is it just yours for the day 8) 8) 8)
 
#19
Be careful slopes - sounds like your sex life is getting dull. While you think you're giving your missus the monster fcuk of her young life, she's laying there thinking "I wonder if we're out of cornflakes", "Are Terry Nutkins and Michaela Strachen actually the same people?" and "what colour do smurfs go when you strangle them" (thanks Ronny - you're still a genius :lol: ) .

Bottom line - SPICE THINGS UP MAN! Expand on that vietnamese theme. Make your missus dress in tatty black pyjamas and make her live in the local woods for 3 weeks, then huey in, capture her and drag her back to the house where you kill all her pigs and WP her pots of Uncle Bens. Set fire to the bedroom and do her USMC style while "Gimme Shelter" is playing. Once done explain that you're going off "to do the whole fcuking village man" and do just that - wander up your street setting fire to the houses and sh@gging all your female neighbours. It's a particular brand of love she won't have experienced before, that's for sure!
 
E

error_unknown

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#20
RTFQ said:
Bottom line - SPICE THINGS UP MAN! Expand on that vietnamese theme. Make your missus dress in tatty black pyjamas and make her live in the local woods for 3 weeks, then huey in, capture her and drag her back to the house where you kill all her pigs and WP her pots of Uncle Bens. Set fire to the bedroom and do her USMC style while "Gimme Shelter" is playing. Once done explain that you're going off "to do the whole fcuking village man" and do just that - wander up your street setting fire to the houses and sh@gging all your female neighbours. It's a particular brand of love she won't have experienced before, that's for sure!
Or you could go for a more contemporary theme: get her a veil and MBO outfit; smother her in Max factor's 'Eau de Goat P1ss'; make her weigh ten stone more; and then get her to shout 'Salaam Aleikum, Big Boy' as you kick the bedroom door open and slip out of your body armour and 'hat, floppy'. Afterwards you can chuck bottles of water and packets of boilies at the kids as you leave.
 
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