Has to be Mr Mitty

Discussion in 'Old & Bold' started by old_fat_and_hairy, Nov 20, 2012.

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  1. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Spotted this geezer outside a cinema, 'The Grande DeLuxe Empire Royal' in a small mining village in Durham. He was offering seats in all places from 1/6d to half a crown.

    Has to be a walt. Far too old to be a serving para, and all that stuff on his chest; milk bottle tops, surely.

    And he hasn't even got a proper para badge. I know because I once knew a bloke who had a cousin who went to school with a lad whose father used to deliver milk to a shop in Aldershot.
  2. Mike Jackson?
  3. Looks like an old picture.

    Was that in his 'Thriller' days?
    • Like Like x 3
  4. You've fucked it now fella.

    Expect the death star to loom over your house pretty soon.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. Same geezer with a twat hat.


  6. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I know. How do they think they can get away with it? Bound to be some genuine squaddy who would blow the whistle!
  7. sirbhp

    sirbhp LE Book Reviewer

    i knew him when he was black! the walting git .
  8. He denied having plastic surgery.

    It was later revealed it was to get the lead role in Peter Pan.
  9. If you bump into the **** again, tell him the Army wants its battalions and regiments back. The gullible alcoholic.
    • Like Like x 4
  10. Just ask him his number, that will out him!
  11. I heard he had a thing about the film - 'A Man For All Seasons' and wanted to look like the actor Paul Schofield.
    • Like Like x 1
  12. He was auditioning for the role of 'Darth Sidious' in the latest Star Wars franchise and had the surgery done as he was too scary and unbelievable for the role.

    Sadly, despite the surgery he was beaten to the role by His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI.
  13. Its pretty simple, just go up to him and say ""can I have your number?"
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Yes! It's done by a combination of your vocal cords and forming words by the shape of your tongue and lips.

    Quite easy to master.

    Unless your Stephen Hawking.
  15. Judging by the lines on his face, his number is probably 00000001