Has the Met finally disappeared up its own arrse?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by ham-shank, Apr 27, 2007.

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  1. Can any Arrse members, who are serving rozzers, tell me whether a sense of humour or anything approaching common sense is forbidden within the ranks of the Metropolitan Police? Or is being a miserable, self-serving cnut a prerequisite qualification before you can get into Hendon

    Yesterday, a mate, who's co-workers had placed a huge, black, rubber dildo at the top of the windscreen on his van for a laugh, was stopped by a police patrol car and told to remove it. He refused asking what he was doing wrong. The plod told him that he found it offensive and that he may well be offending other members of the public. When matey replied that you can see the same huge, black, rubber dildos openly on sale in the windows at any Ann Summers shop and he hadn't heard of many of them being raided lately, Plod becomes agitated. Matey then starts up the engine and tells Plod that it was nice to talk to him but he really had better things to do.

    Plod then tells matey to turn off the engine, that he was being arrested for a Breach of the Peace, and reads him his rights.

    Result? A whole day off work while matey is fingerprinted, DNA-tested and shoved in a police cell. He is also facing a possible criminal record.

    What exactly has the miserable plod cnut achieved? Is London a safer place?
  2. He would have had no problem with a white dildo...
  3. If your mate had said that he was a poofty he would probably have got away with it!
  4. OR if he had said it was his religious shrine.
  5. It's obviously part of Blair's 'Respect' agenda ie you must respect the fact that we've turned the UK into a police state, or we will arrest you.

    The scary thing is, I don't know how this will end. Will politicians see the light, or will the separation of police/society lead to catastrophic problems like the 80's race riots?
  6. Not always easy to think fast on your feet when faced with Plod. :roll: :?

    But if he'd said - with a straight face - that it was some kind of emblem of his faith, and been able to mount any kind of semi-coherent argument, I bet he'd have got away with it. :wink:

    Even moreso if he'd taken the PC's number and inspected his Warrant card, as we're all entitled to do. :twisted:
  7. The answer to your question is, of course, yes.
  8. in_the_cheapseats

    in_the_cheapseats LE Moderator

    Make sure you give us the run down on his day in court. I really look forward to hearing how the copper justifies himself.
  9. Trouble is that the PC went for 'Breach of the Peace' or possibly 'Behavior likely to cause a Breach of the Peace', basically the Section 69 of Public Order offences.

    Twenty odd years ago this was part of a comedy sadly it is now our reality:

    "Come in, shut the door."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Now then, Savage, I want to talk td you about some charges that you've been bringing lately. I think that perhaps you're being a little
    "Which charges did you mean then, sir?"
    "Well, for instance this one: 'Loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing.' Savage, maybe you're not aware of this, but it is not illegal to use a pedestrian crossing, neither is 'smelling of foreign food' an offence."
    "Are you sure, sir?"
    "Also, there's no law against 'Urinating in a public convenience or 'Coughing without due care and attention."'
    "If you say so, sir..."
    "Yes, I do say so, Savage! Didn't they teach you anything at training school?"
    "Erm, I'm sorry, sir..."
    "Some of these cases are just plain stupid: 'Looking at me in a funny way' - Is this some kind of joke, Savage?"
    "No, sir."
    "And we have some more here: 'Walking on the cracks in the pavement,' 'Walking in a loud shirt in a built-up area during the hours of darkness,' and 'Walking around with an offensive wife.' In short, Savage, in the space of one month you have brought one hundred and seventeen ridiculous, trumped-up and ludicrous charges."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Against the same man, Savage."
    "Yes, sir."
    "A Mr Winston Kodogo, of 55, Mercer Road."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Sit down, Savage."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Savage, why do you keep arresting this man?"
    "He's a villain, sir."
    "A villain..."
    "And a jail-bird, sir."
    "I know he's a jail-bird, Savage, he's down in the cells now! We're holding him on a charge of 'Possession of curly black hair and thick lips."'
    "Well - well, there you are, sir."
    "You arrested him, Savage!"
    "Thank you, sir."
    "Savage, would I be correct in assuming that Mr Kodogo is a coloured gentleman?"
    "Well, I can't say I've ever noticed, sir."
    "Stand up, Savage! - Savage, you're a bigot. It's officers like you that give the police a bad name. The press love to jump on an instance like this, and the reputation of the force can be permanently tarnished. Your whole time on duty is dominated by racial hatred and petty personal vendettas. Do you get some kind of perverted gratification from going around stirring up trouble?"
    "Yes, sir."
    "There's no room for men like you in my force, Savage. I'm ss transferring you to the S.PG. -"
    "Thank you very much, sir."
    "- Now get out!"

    from: Not! The Nine O'Clock News, Hedgehog Sandwich, BBC Records REB 421,1981
  10. BoP involves a threat of immenience and (usually) violence, under coomon law rather than statute.

    Caselaw also indicates one cannot cause a BoP because someone reacts to your actions (from a stated case where some preacher thundered against the sin of sodomy in Brighton...........did he fail to recce the audience or what! The godbotherer came in for BoP, and the case got dismissed as he did not threaten to occassion a BoP; but others might in their response to his eloquence and hellfire).

    also i would be amazed if this was charged rather than hoofed out by the custody sgt; as BoP doesn't make it to court; other than in rare circumstances to be bound over by the magistrates.

    I think your mate might have ommitted details or got something else wrong 'cos the story doesn' quite ring true.

    You sure he's not been charged with s22 Theft Act 1968 (Handling Swollen Goods)?

    But yes; the Met vanished up its own rectum ages ago and is in dire need of a pull-through with a christmas tree to bring it back to the real world the rest of us inhabit.
  11. police = c0cks

    never help you when you need them and then always jump on you at the slightest of misdemeaners ~(sp)
  12. the reason they arrested him for a breach of the peace was because there was nothing else to do him for !!

    Was it a dangerous item ? the dido that is.

    Maybe your mate did play up a bit, but most normal PC's would make a little joke about it and let you know SOMEONE MAY find it offensive.

    The way its ended up is a passer by will see the Police stopped a car for having a offensive object on it and ended up causing a situation which ended with the dildo still there and someone being arrested !!!

    If the Police hadn't stopped your mate there wouldn't of been a situation.

    The PC must have needed more ticks in the box for that months arrest figures.
  13. Is it an offence or even worthy of mention that someone may find something offensive?

    If that is true then there are a couple of things that I want removing from the streets as I might be offended by them.

    All politicians for a start, fat birds in tight trousers, overt queers, drunken yobbos, in fact the list is endless. Wonder if plod can be convinced to remove or warn all that lot?
  14. You sure it was the Met and not say one of the surrounding services?

    The reason I ask is because it must be boring arresting people for Theft of Cabbage day in, day out.

    I reckon there's more to this than just a bit of banter between the PC and your mate unless the PC was from the SPG, now known as the TSG [Thick and Stupid Group]

    He'll probably be cautioned after all the checks have been done anyway and kicked out clutching his dildo and a new set of batteries from the front office safe.
  15. Thank your lucky stars your mate wasn't in West Yorkshire.

    W. Yorks. Police would have beaten him senseless with it a la Lock, Stock, and two smoking barrels. Then prosecuted him for looking a bit funny and driving a white van! Send his court papers to the wrong address and then have him rearrested for failing to appear!...Grumble...harrumph...Arrse Bandits!

    My two siblings are coppers and sheeit like this makes their blood boil too. But as mentioned have we heard the whole story?