Has Cuddles Got It Right?

Has Cuddles Got It Right

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Cuddles posted on the pet hates thread.

Cats - concise to the point and a pun - scores on all counts.

Of course every man hates cats. Not only are we men but we're testosterone fuelled steely-eyed death dealers ready to kill all the menfolk and reep our reward among the maidens just grateful to have a real man with real manstink to save them.

A dog is man's natural companion. A dog can lick its bits, something almost all of wish we could do. Those who don't wish they could do it are those freaks that actually can! A dog will scratch its arrse then sniff the carpet where he dragged his arrse across. A dog will have a farting competition with you and a dog, if he doesn't have the time to eat it up before your missus comes down in the morning will sit in front of your technicolor yawn and look sheepish, thus taking the heat off number 1. Dogs are ace, they'll even try to mount your new girlfriend the first time you bring her home. They'll shove their beak up any skirt and into any crotch to find out what's good and what isn't.
Whereas a cat (or even a dog the same size as a cat) is for gays. It preens itself all day and is picky about its food. It doesn't fart and it would turn it's nose up at stomach trawl. Guy Gibson VC had a dog (embarrassingly called Nigger) but can you imagine a VC winner having a cat called Fluffkins? No, cats are gay and have no place in the Army other than as ratters.
The Army must approve of dogs otherwise you wouldn't have Wardog Units, Police Dogs and Rescue Dogs, all good manly pursuits, indeed every officer in the 70s was issued with a G10 Golden Retriever to go in their issue red Golf GTI so dogs must be in, in the Army.
So, is there any girlie men out there that are going to try to persuade us all that cats are a man's pet or has Cuddles got it right?
Cats are more likely to sit and watch you hurt yourself (e.g., with a look of "told you so") with a look on their faces than dogs: dogs on the other hand are likely to come and give you comfort and understanding.

Cats believe that every single inch of the house that you bought and pay for is theirs and that humans are a mere distraction. Dogs, on the other hand, live to be with their owners.

Dogs - For the win.

Cats - For the bin.

Only seen 1 cat worthy of "not gay" status and that was down to the fact it was only semi-domesticated and would take in wood pidgeons as big as it was to my uncles house, get his head down for a few hours then fcuk off out to the woods for a couple more days!


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Cuddles is absolutely right. There is no reason for cats.

Except Lions, tigers and the really big ones.

Domestic cats? Useless spongers off society, contribute nothing and go out on wanton killing sprees even though owners feed them.

Hunt them down like foxes, I say!
Cats are not pets, they are wild animals that merely occupy the same space as those deluded enough to believe they "own" a cat. They will take anything on offer and then move on to another mug or series of mugs in order to get fed and have a warm comfortable billet. Good skills from the cat, as to the "owners", well mugs are mugs.
Cats are evil. They scratch you, they shoite in gardens, they deserve to have a hot chip pan's contents thrown over them

Not that I have a chip pan any more
Pah rubbish!!!.... clearly has only had contact with pampered pedigree mogs.... not the hand rippping rodent crushing animal that shares my house....she is a tiny little tortie.... that causes a Pointer pile up if she jumps off the fence as they try to escape the on coming claws of fury... her name is Amber but known by everyone as The Kracken...
Cats are attention whore, four-legged snake with tits that will take, take, take, but give fcuk all back except furballs!

Pussy, on the other hand, is always nice and most welcome :D

As usual, Cuddles is correct and ya boo sucks to the cat lovers!
Cats are lovely. I have 6 of them.
People? Couldn't give a toss, hate the lot of them but I do like my feline friends.

And no, I'm not a poof either!
Mr_Deputy said:
My mate's got a cat which is very loyal, is well-trained and obedient, part of the family, helps on the farm, loves attention and is a joy to be around, protects the house.

Oh no hang on. No. Its a dog.

His cat just lies about the place and craps out what he's fed it onto his doorstep.

They're alright for a cuddle. Not for much else.
Good God man, can you hear how gay you sound?
Cats are fcuking horrible things. They are about as much use as tits on a fish and I have yet to see a cat trained to retrieve game or be trained to herd sheep.

Shoot the fcuking lot as vernmin.
Markintime said:
A dog can lick its bits, something almost all of wish we could do.
If you give them a bit of cheese, they will usually let you.

Cat-sized dogs are OK. They do all the other stuff dogs do, but can't usually steal off the kitchen work-top or out the bin. My little chap likes playing with his big mates.

If he can't fcuk it or eat it, he p1sses on it.

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