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Has a Royal used your Loo?

Can anyone confirm if any Royal has ever used one of the freshly painted/decorated/installed with virginal seat bogs at a Visit. Just wondered as it could save quite a few bob if we know in advance they're never going to sit on a plebs throne.
Yep, I've had quite a few Royals use my loo. The bog definitely wasn't freshly painted or virginal.

I assume by Royal you mean the common vernacular for a Royal Marine and not a member of the Royal family?


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I spent a week driving HRH Prince Michael of Kent around last year while he visited us on exercise. It has just occurred to me that I didn't see him go to the bog once. Bearing in mind it was hot and we were drinking a lot of water each day, I was pissing every 5 minutes.

Maybe the Royal Family have been genetically altered to not defecate? It's the only possible explanation I can think of.


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Ah, Jackspeak, the finest tongue ever to be spake on this green earth.

12 clips, full foulies, safeguard. My ears have not heard such beautiful words since I was scuttling a kai toi down bugis street after a quick dash from Honky Fid, Harry Redders it was.

Anyway revert to damage control state 3 condition x-ray.
The Queen has a leather covered loo seat which is installed pre visit, then the loo is guarded by plod to make sure any ex squaddies don't get in and curl one down, then it's taken away at end of visit!
The Queen Mother's last visit to Canada involved her visiting Fort York Armouries and opening the new regimental museum for the Toronto Scottish there as well as lunch with the Regiment's Officers and Senior NCOs.

One of the washrooms convenient to the Officers Mess was cleaned and then secured/sealed prior to the event. I was part of the Regiment liasion with the assorted Brits, RCMP etc in charge of security and had to oversea said security measures for the throne in question.

She never did use it.


Book Reviewer
I once took a wagon from Northolt to Glasgow and picked up some royal furniture for the Royal Flight Jets
Included so I was told was the Royal Privvy

I like to feel I've done my bit for Prince Andrews golfing trips
Within the space of a week, a freshly decorated and restored crapper in DJ barracks Split was used by not one but two Royals. first up was HRH the Princess Royal. Think she just had a widdle . Then a few days later FM the Duke of Kent entered the station of easement and curled out a floater - that would not go away.

As an aside, he must be "the cavalry officer that was so stupid the others noticed". If you go to pat an attack dog and it snaps at you, its handler tells you not to and you do it again and it repeats the deal - I would say you are pretty fcuking thick? Good dog Roffey!
Early 1960's, one of my mates at one of the staging posts, Gan, I think, told me of a refuel with HRH on board.
Apparently the aircraft loo seat had the well known white kid leather cover which had to be changed, and in the pan was a brand new 'George the 3rd'.
Said turd was removed, dried in the sun and varnished, mounted on green baize in a glass fronted frame with curtains on runners that opened by pulling a cord. This contraption held pride of place in the crew room which was a helicopter crate, and was regularly saluted by all and sundry.
Can anybody confirm this and/or add further details?
FYIW - I heard a similar story about the royal yacht Britannia. Polished royal turd in a display case. (Thought you couldn't polish a turd?)

Bernard Mills

The Queen Mother used to have her own seat installed.
Others not so fussy.
Tis sad but true - she had a most horrible hairy arse and that twas the reason why she had a special lid fitted. Each hair was worth a fortune at auction.

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