Harvest of Moles

BarcelonaAnalPark

LE
Book Reviewer
My garden has been afflicted with a mole. My carefully maintained lawn is now being rapidly destroyed by this beast and new mole hills are appearing by the hour.

I opened up one of the mole hills, threaded a hose pipe into it and treated the occupants to a ten minute H2O suprise. Unfortunately, the offending mole can either swim or drink copiously because it achieved nothing.

Should I submit myself to defeat; accepting the overwhelming power and will of mother nature? Or is there a way in which I can salvage my dreams of an independent garden and slay this merciless foe?
 

clayp1g

War Hero
Traps are cheap.

Plenty on a big river in South America
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Have you not watched caddyshack?

On a serious note, I've heard some people have good results from those mole repelling devices (also some people who didn't get a good result)
 
Jasper Carrot did a "user's guide" to mole hunting.
Very informative and worth a listen.
 

BarcelonaAnalPark

LE
Book Reviewer
@theoriginalphantom @clayp1g

Are these traps available from all mainstream gardening shops? I was hoping to spend no money at all on solving this profound issue.

As for Caddyshack, I don't think the comparison of Gophers to moles is appropriate or accurate.

As an aside, I remember enjoying Caddyshack for its gentle depiction of social inequalities in the latter stages of the cold-war US. The casual ingrained racism, scenes of grooming and rape culture are pretty hard for us to watch these days but is a reminder of a different era.
 
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alib

LE
I can handle the rape culture and racism, it's the golf I found really worrying.

I was suddenly reminded of the scenic Ards Peninsular there!
 
Traps (if you can get them these days) or mole candles - like shermulies that you lob down their runs....
 

theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
Link the hosepipe to your car exhaust and give the mole a good lungful of carbon monoxide.;)

I certainly didn't lend my petrol generator to anyone for that very purpose (it being more easily brought into the back garden through the house than his car)
 
Get a rodenator.......... You may have to relay the lawn 'slightly' afterwards if you go mental but the moles will get the message; and you will have the added bonus of pissing yourself laughing whilst doing it.

Oh and 'make sure' moley isn't at home when you deploy it.......... Just to clarify for any tree huggers.
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
I'm a bloody expert on moles having published my woes and troubles regarding these blind blighters, they really are a bloody nuisance.
Having had the above Jasper Carrot video posted to my good self I asked the grounds man at my bowls club about moles.
Well he said, we had moles here about five years ago, really said I looking out at an immaculate bowls green, go on then what's the answer?

Jays fluid. I kid you not, poor a good glug down each hole and recover the hole with the earth. Now my lawn was bloody infested with the bastards, although the chap did say it's probably just the one as they are very territorial. Any how within a few nights use, no more mole hills.
Leave for a few weeks, then re seed and bingo a nice mole free lawn.
The bastards just can't abide the smell and they bugger off never to return.
Try it, it worked for me.
I'll try and find the pictures of before and after.
 
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theoriginalphantom

MIA
Book Reviewer
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Purge the mole run with acetylene gas and ignite elecrically before your garden turns into the Ho Chi Minh trail.

Get on trend and recreate WW1 using Chlorine gas - it creeps along galleries etc.

Molecandles are basically sulphur and are intended to fill the run with sulphur dioxide, go DIY with Flour of Sulphur.

Alternatively, nip along to your local zoo/safari park and get some lion/tiger/big cat shit and distribute into known haunts of prey animals. Added bonus of keeping Wildebeeste off the lawn.
 
I do believe that if you pour Domestos down the mole hole, then pour a bottle of vinegar down on top of it , it produces Chlorine gas. Don't sniff the hole to see if it's working though.

Under No circumstances should you listen to that bloke wearing the purple cape and long droopy moustache.
 
I do believe that if you pour Domestos down the mole hole, then pour a bottle of vinegar down on top of it , it produces Chlorine gas. Don't sniff the hole to see if it's working though.

Under No circumstances should you listen to that bloke wearing the purple cape and long droopy moustache.
You do realise that with you last sentence you've ruined a megaton or two of laughs. Not that the purple cape wearing bloke is easily put off.
 
You do realise that with you last sentence you've ruined a megaton or two of laughs. Not that the purple cape wearing bloke is easily put off.

He's being lulled into a false sense of security.
His Eminence will always find a way, despite the futile efforts of mere mortals like myself.
 

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