I'm a very suspicious type and like most other sceptics, I try to look for the real reasons behind what I read in the press or see on the telly or hear on the radio. I don't know if this situation is unprecedented, but nothing similar springs to mind, to be honest. We all knew that Prince Andrew was going to the Falklands - and granted, that was a totally different situation. But the gutter end of the press have an excellent reputation for sh1tting on just about everybody in the past - from royalty to the middle class, to asylum seekers, to gypsies, to our brave lads, to chavs, to politicians of whatever persuasion, to randy vicars, to council house tenants and even to each other. How could their silence have been secured - FOR A WHOLE TEN WEEKS? I have a theory, and it involves our lovely, democratic honours system. I would like everybody to carefully analyse it the next time it appears and the time after that and the time after that (well, it won't be stuffed to the gills with newspaper editors and BBC executives immediately will it?) I don't think it would be enough to spoonfeed a good share of exclusives when Harry comes back. Not for one second. Only knighthoods, CBE's, OBE's, MBE's, dameships, peerages would really suffice and keep the bastards schtum. Keep your eyes peeled for the next roll call of the great and the good. In amongst the lollipop ladies and ex-generals will be some familiar faces. A good transaction has been done in secret. Done to satisfy the self-seeking swine. I don't think this theory has been trotted out by any of our fine newspapers or broadcasters just yet - not even the brilliant Jon Snow. Well, they wouldn't want to draw unwelcome attention would they???