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Harry and Megan: How long will it last?

How long


  • Total voters
    169
  • Poll closed .

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
Miscarriage is very common and very much apart of the natural pregnancy process, but for obvious reasons, it's a subject that's generally avoided by those hoping to conceive.

I think it's more about the person in question that's being discussed, and how past performance has led to the creation of great cynicism of her motives and actions.

Nobody is saying miscarriage shouldn't be discussed. From my experience, most 'normal' people just don't want to discuss it. Certainly not outside the company of others who have experienced the same.

My ex miscarried twice. The second time I cleared up the mess on the toilet floor. I say 'mess', the mess had actually taken a form. Outside the protection of an anonymous forum, I would never want to talk about that.

Markle, through her team of PR people, has turned the process into a storyline from a cheap Channel 5 afternoon movie.

If she's that bothered into helping others with the news, then she could always anonymously volunteer for a local help group. In fact, maybe she has. But then again, I would suspect not.
First of all, sorry you had to do that.

The second half of your post, though... precisely. This isn’t just MM. There’s a dozen-strong PR team involved. None of this is visceral, spontaneous. It’s constructed.

And volunteer? Get her hands dirty for hours on end without a photo opportunity? Yeah.

A gay friend of mine recently told me just how much under-the-radar charity work George Michael used to do. No fuss. Just did it. I was taken aback.

That’s the difference.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
To those of you saying your wives/daughters/etc have had miscarriages and it's not to be discussed, are you really sure that's their wish? Brushing it under the carpet and carrying on, as if it were nothing more than stubbing a toe isn't helpful. Regardless of what stage the pregnancy was in, that woman has lost a child. If it were a child that had lived, been held in your arms or seen grown up and then died, would you never mention them again?

The comments (said by nurses and doctors, not just on here) that it's very common I know is somehow meant to be reassuring, to imply that it wasn't necessarily the fault of the mother, but again, if a child had been run over, would you turn to the parents and say "oh hundreds of children get run over every day, don't worry about it"?

I'm not defending Megan in the way she's publicised this, or even going to speculate whether its true or not, but I am shocked at the way some of you have said it shouldn't be talked about, and that is one part of her statement that I do agree with.
There's a world of difference between carrying on with a stiff upper lip, ignoring not talking about it, pretending it didn't happen, and publicising it with sickly simpering prose for all the world to see.

I don't think anyone here is advocating either of those approaches. It's a shame that Meghan chose to do the latter, whether or not she was actually pregnant or really miscarried.

I don't recall the Tindalls, or indeed any of my friends who miscarried, writing about pieces of their broken hearts for worldwide titillation.
 

Dwarf

LE
To those of you saying your wives/daughters/etc have had miscarriages and it's not to be discussed, are you really sure that's their wish? Brushing it under the carpet and carrying on, as if it were nothing more than stubbing a toe isn't helpful. Regardless of what stage the pregnancy was in, that woman has lost a child. If it were a child that had lived, been held in your arms or seen grown up and then died, would you never mention them again?

The comments (said by nurses and doctors, not just on here) that it's very common I know is somehow meant to be reassuring, to imply that it wasn't necessarily the fault of the mother, but again, if a child had been run over, would you turn to the parents and say "oh hundreds of children get run over every day, don't worry about it"?

I'm not defending Megan in the way she's publicised this, or even going to speculate whether its true or not, but I am shocked at the way some of you have said it shouldn't be talked about, and that is one part of her statement that I do agree with.
I don't think people are saying it shouldn't be talked about, it depends on the couple or individual. What they are saying is that it should be a private thing not to be splashed over the headlines merely to maintain visibility and garner sympathy.
I didn't find out till relatively recently that my mum lost my twin in pregnancy. She had heavy bleeding at three and six months and I came close to ending up in the bucket. She preferred to concentrate on the child she managed to bring to term and then wait for my brother to come along. It's a personal choice.

If Meghan wants to talk about it to highlight the problem to help others then it could easily have been done, but differently.
 
I think that an earlier contributor hot the nail on the head. (sorry whoever you are I forget your name but I don't want to steal your post) He pointed out that the Cambridge's dog died and they publicly said that they were upset. Megain had to go on better and chose to tell of her loss the next day. Although her loss happened in July - apparently.
Couple this with announcing her pregnancy at Eugenie's wedding (might be wrong but it was at a wedding) and their abdication on Kate's birthday I don't think that there is much room for sympathy for this.........you know the rest.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
I think that an earlier contributor hot the nail on the head. (sorry whoever you are I forget your name but I don't want to steal your post) He pointed out that the Cambridge's dog died and they publicly said that they were upset. Megain had to go on better and chose to tell of her loss the next day. Although her loss happened in July - apparently.
Couple this with announcing her pregnancy at Eugenie's wedding (might be wrong but it was at a wedding) and their abdication on Kate's birthday I don't think that there is much room for sympathy for this.........you know the rest.
Aha! Thank you. I knew that there had to be something, and the anti-Kate vendetta rolls on.

Thank God we had Prince Philip on hand to assassinate Diego Maradona.
 
To those of you saying your wives/daughters/etc have had miscarriages and it's not to be discussed, are you really sure that's their wish? Brushing it under the carpet and carrying on, as if it were nothing more than stubbing a toe isn't helpful. Regardless of what stage the pregnancy was in, that woman has lost a child. If it were a child that had lived, been held in your arms or seen grown up and then died, would you never mention them again?

The comments (said by nurses and doctors, not just on here) that it's very common I know is somehow meant to be reassuring, to imply that it wasn't necessarily the fault of the mother, but again, if a child had been run over, would you turn to the parents and say "oh hundreds of children get run over every day, don't worry about it"?

I'm not defending Megan in the way she's publicised this, or even going to speculate whether its true or not, but I am shocked at the way some of you have said it shouldn't be talked about, and that is one part of her statement that I do agree with.
Not so much shouldn't be talked about as the 'victim' doesn't want to talk about it. For my step daughter we sympathised and offered condolences. She is grieving (and husband) which is a natural process, when she wants to mention it (hardly at all just now) she will and we'll talk about it. Just now she wants to grieve privately, she doesn't want to talk about it outside of immediate family, it's a very personal and intimate event which doesn't actually affect anyone else.
Just by the by she's a midwife, she knows the statistics, she knows just how women feel when she delivers a stillborn or a baby that dies during or shortly after birth. Its very cold comfort for her and maybe its a British thing but knowing that millions of strangers around the world may feel sorry for her is actually completely repellent.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
Not so much shouldn't be talked about as the 'victim' doesn't want to talk about it. For my step daughter we sympathised and offered condolences. She is grieving (and husband) which is a natural process, when she wants to mention it (hardly at all just now) she will and we'll talk about it. Just now she wants to grieve privately, she doesn't want to talk about it outside of immediate family, it's a very personal and intimate event which doesn't actually affect anyone else.
Just by the by she's a midwife, she knows the statistics, she knows just how women feel when she delivers a stillborn or a baby that dies during or shortly after birth. Its very cold comfort for her and maybe its a British thing but knowing that millions of strangers around the world may feel sorry for her is actually completely repellent.
It's interesting, isn't it? Almost 30 years ago (yikes!), I had a summer romance with a girl from Denmark. She went home, life moved on - several times, as it unfortunately does - and that was that.

A couple of years ago, through social media, we caught up again. A lot of life has happened for both of us since. But, one thing which came out was that, unknown to both of us, when I saw her off at Gatwick all those years ago she was pregnant.

She miscarried once at home in Denmark but it's the closest I've ever come to being a parent. That hit me. I grieved, to the extent that I sat with SWMBO and asked if I could call and speak to my ex. She consented, and I did. It helped and it's passed.

What offends me is that I could, right now, turn that into a mawkish piece that I could sell to the tabloids on the back of MM's story. I could probably make a good fist of it, too; parodying the syrup which passes for prose in such stories isn't difficult.

But what would it achieve? A few hundred quid in the bank and a bit of ego-stroking? It's not worth it on any level as far as I'm concerned.

It's a shame that others see it differently.
 
Funny really, had she herself passed away from natural causes before she met Harry, I doubt there would have been more than a few lines in the NYT and nothing else worldwide - now an early miscarriage that may or may not have happened is plastered everywhere.

Wonder if she'll ever have a moment where she understands what most bemused normal folk think of her.
 
Wonder if she'll ever have a moment where she understands what most bemused normal folk think of her.

She will be ecstatic - because you are thinking of her. That's all that matters.
 
I would like to think ( in fact I will) that a member of her publicity entourage visits this forum for amusement.

If so please register and enlighten us. We will be gentle with you.
 
She will be ecstatic - because you are thinking of her. That's all that matters.
Fair enough. I thought about Fred and Rosemary West today because they popped up in a news feed too.
 
I would like to think ( in fact I will) that a member of her publicity entourage visits this forum for amusement.

If so please register and enlighten us. We will be gentle with you.

If she did indeed suffer a miscarriage, then my heart goes out to both her and Harry. If, on the other hand, this is some bizarre publicity stunt or to get back at Kate ('you lost your bloody dog, well I lost my baby'), then she should hang her head in shame.
 
If she did indeed suffer a miscarriage, then my heart goes out to both her and Harry. If, on the other hand, this is some bizarre publicity stunt or to get back at Kate ('you lost your bloody dog, well I lost my baby'), then she should hang her head in shame.

I doubt that she has heard of 'shame' never mind experienced it.
 
Fair enough. I thought about Fred and Rosemary West today because they popped up in a news feed too.

One of my sister's erstwhile colleagues decided, on a school history trip to Gloucester Docks, to get the coach driver to do a detour on the way home via the spot where Fred West's house stood. He departed the school in question at the end of that week.
 

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
If she did indeed suffer a miscarriage, then my heart goes out to both her and Harry. If, on the other hand, this is some bizarre publicity stunt or to get back at Kate ('you lost your bloody dog, well I lost my baby'), then she should hang her head in shame.
I'll go further, because it fits a pattern. Once again, the 'coincidental' nature of the announcement coincides with Kate Middleton being in the news. Assuming the miscarriage was real - let's grant her that much - she has still cynically used it to try to get one up on her rival.

That's shabby enough, frankly.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
Funny really, had she herself passed away from natural causes before she met Harry, I doubt there would have been more than a few lines in the NYT and nothing else worldwide - now an early miscarriage that may or may not have happened is plastered everywhere.

Wonder if she'll ever have a moment where she understands what most bemused normal folk think of her.
She has never read Burns, I am sure.
 

Dwarf

LE
I'll go further, because it fits a pattern. Once again, the 'coincidental' nature of the announcement coincides with Kate Middleton being in the news. Assuming the miscarriage was real - let's grant her that much - she has still cynically used it to try to get one up on her rival.

That's shabby enough, frankly.
And shabbier still because in her mind she has made it into a competition. Not that the Cambridges will bite, but in her head she has to come out on top, but being nice hasn't worked as she can't seem to get the hang of it, but by putting down or one over on the perceived rivals. Works in Hollywood maybe, Planet Earth is something else.
 

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